Hey!
I thought I'd pop in and give a quick update on me today. I'm at 9dpiui and the time is slowly ticking by. I fortuitously planned to keep myself busy this weekend. It's been a nice weekend and I've accomplished lots so far. But the days are going slowly.... I don't really "feel" pregnant, and as much as I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, and that it probably didn't work, I really want to think that it did. Well, 5 more days till we find out. I really can't think past that day - I don't really have any plans ahead of it so once I make it till then, I'll start to think about what is next.
As for my "to-do" list, here is what I have accomplished so far.
1. Contacted my friend re. the broken pan
2. Repotted house plants (my mom actually helped me today)
3. Bought new socks
4. Didn't finish DH's scarf, but ran out of yarn and picked up more to keep it going.
5. Trimmed bans and waxed eyebrows
6. Decided against throwing a tea party right now... maybe I'll do it later in spring, but I'm not up to hosting a big thing at the moment. Hoping to get over to the mainland to visit my BFF instead!
Hmm... that may be about it. I've been busy doing other things that aren't on the list too - I guess I won't get around to everything in the next 5 days. Today my mom came over and we organized/cleaned out closets, and started to work a bit on the garage. She also re-potted my plants for me. Yay! What a great mom I have.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Love
Friday, March 9, 2012
Soft
As we started the process of IUI this month, I was shopping with my mom and came across a pair of sweatpants. Now, let me say that I do not own sweatpants and DO NOT wear sweatpants and have not since I was in high school when it was cool to do. My main reason is that I live on Vancouver Island where fashion is not really a priority. As a result, people wear sweatpants and other things you would not wear in public, in public ALL THE TIME! I always vowed I would not be that person.
However, I have lately discovered the glory that is coming home and taking off my "work" clothes, and putting on "comfy" clothes. And with the mess of hormones that I am, and constant clomid cramping, bloating, and other such joys, a pair of comfy pants is just the right prescription.
So, when I put on these sweatpants and felt how SOFT they felt, I couldn't resist! I bought my first pair of grey sweatpants. And I wear them every day!
DH has nicknamed them the "I gave up on life" pants, and I don't even mind.
However, I have lately discovered the glory that is coming home and taking off my "work" clothes, and putting on "comfy" clothes. And with the mess of hormones that I am, and constant clomid cramping, bloating, and other such joys, a pair of comfy pants is just the right prescription.
So, when I put on these sweatpants and felt how SOFT they felt, I couldn't resist! I bought my first pair of grey sweatpants. And I wear them every day!
DH has nicknamed them the "I gave up on life" pants, and I don't even mind.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Healing
The picture challenge today was healing. Again, a timely one.
This afternoon I had a visit with a wonderful older lady from my church whom I recently met. She is probably around 70, and is the wife of a pastor, just like me. She had quite a difficult childhood with an abusive father, and living such a different lifestyle. Part of her growing up years were spent in Brazil in a house with mud walls (which she helped build) and a thatched roof. She is just the sweetest thing - and full of great stories. After my husband and I had dinner with her and her husband a few weeks ago, I just knew I had to see her again. So I arranged to go over to her place for tea.
Though we have only just met, I wanted to share our struggle and journey of infertility with her. I can tell she genuinely cares about me and something in me was just drawn to her. So I told her about our story. And you know what? She really, truly understood. Now she has 4 children, who are all grown up (and one of them was adopted) but she also has lost 4 babies to heaven through miscarriages. With her first pregnancy, she was 5 month (FIVE MONTHS!) pregnant with twin boys, naturally. This was her dream she said. She told me that she remembers wearing a specific beautiful dress with a smocked top and her little belly popping out. And then she lost them both. What is worse was that NOBODY helped her through. Nobody asked her how she was doing. In fact, of the community she was a part of, she said it was like there was a big ring around her and nobody wanted to come near. And so she suffered the pain in silence, all alone. She knows what it is like to stand in church and hear a baby cry and see the mother rush it out and wish that it was your child. She knows what it is like to be in public places and have a smile on your face, even though your heart is breaking inside. She knows what it is like to long for something so much, and know you are not going to have it - at least in the way you always imagined.
Hearing her story was healing for me. She didn't always have an easy life. But here she is, near the end of her life - and happy, fulfilled, joyful. She prayed for me. And I believe her prayer means something. I believe all prayers are heard... but those of faithful, old believers are extra special to God above. In her prayer she said, "Every young couple longs to hold a tiny baby in their arms, one that is theirs..." and I just felt such hope, like it just has to happen to us.
On the way home, a song came on that has such strong lyrics that I just burst into sobs. It's a Christian song - a hymn, but it tells the story of how we are not alone. Here are the some of the words that spoke to me:
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
Oh, and the photo for the day. I asked my friend today what she does at home all day. She showed me these. She makes cards. They are actually made of real flowers that she arranges and then copies on a fancy machine. Aren't they so beautiful? I just want to reach out and grab the flowers - they look so real to me!
This afternoon I had a visit with a wonderful older lady from my church whom I recently met. She is probably around 70, and is the wife of a pastor, just like me. She had quite a difficult childhood with an abusive father, and living such a different lifestyle. Part of her growing up years were spent in Brazil in a house with mud walls (which she helped build) and a thatched roof. She is just the sweetest thing - and full of great stories. After my husband and I had dinner with her and her husband a few weeks ago, I just knew I had to see her again. So I arranged to go over to her place for tea.
Though we have only just met, I wanted to share our struggle and journey of infertility with her. I can tell she genuinely cares about me and something in me was just drawn to her. So I told her about our story. And you know what? She really, truly understood. Now she has 4 children, who are all grown up (and one of them was adopted) but she also has lost 4 babies to heaven through miscarriages. With her first pregnancy, she was 5 month (FIVE MONTHS!) pregnant with twin boys, naturally. This was her dream she said. She told me that she remembers wearing a specific beautiful dress with a smocked top and her little belly popping out. And then she lost them both. What is worse was that NOBODY helped her through. Nobody asked her how she was doing. In fact, of the community she was a part of, she said it was like there was a big ring around her and nobody wanted to come near. And so she suffered the pain in silence, all alone. She knows what it is like to stand in church and hear a baby cry and see the mother rush it out and wish that it was your child. She knows what it is like to be in public places and have a smile on your face, even though your heart is breaking inside. She knows what it is like to long for something so much, and know you are not going to have it - at least in the way you always imagined.
Hearing her story was healing for me. She didn't always have an easy life. But here she is, near the end of her life - and happy, fulfilled, joyful. She prayed for me. And I believe her prayer means something. I believe all prayers are heard... but those of faithful, old believers are extra special to God above. In her prayer she said, "Every young couple longs to hold a tiny baby in their arms, one that is theirs..." and I just felt such hope, like it just has to happen to us.
On the way home, a song came on that has such strong lyrics that I just burst into sobs. It's a Christian song - a hymn, but it tells the story of how we are not alone. Here are the some of the words that spoke to me:
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
Oh, and the photo for the day. I asked my friend today what she does at home all day. She showed me these. She makes cards. They are actually made of real flowers that she arranges and then copies on a fancy machine. Aren't they so beautiful? I just want to reach out and grab the flowers - they look so real to me!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
March Photo Challenge Day7: Purple
How timely!
As you may, or may not know, I am a counsellor. I work for children and youth who have been sexually abused or are confused and acting out sexually. This week just happens to be STOP the Sexual Exploitation of Youth Week. It's not really a huge event, but more of a chance to raise awareness for sexual exploitation. As a result, we are in all the schools and promoting the event... and handing out these purple ribbons! Actually, they are fuschia, which is a combination of red (awareness of the Red Light District) and purple (anti-violence). Still, fuschia is close enough to purple.
Lately I've had a HUGE desire to advocate for those who cannot speak up. Have you heard of the Kony2012 demonstration? If not, check out the video at this link.
www.kony2012.com (scroll down for the video)
As well as raising awareness of sexual exploitation, I want to raise awareness of the child exploitation that is going on all over the world, particularly in the jungles of the Congo (and previously Uganda) by Joseph Kony and the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). He kidnaps children and forces them to join his army and kill their families and other children. It is just horrific. I know there are other children around the world who are suffering too (child prostitution, domestic violence) but I want to do what I can to help however I can.
As you may, or may not know, I am a counsellor. I work for children and youth who have been sexually abused or are confused and acting out sexually. This week just happens to be STOP the Sexual Exploitation of Youth Week. It's not really a huge event, but more of a chance to raise awareness for sexual exploitation. As a result, we are in all the schools and promoting the event... and handing out these purple ribbons! Actually, they are fuschia, which is a combination of red (awareness of the Red Light District) and purple (anti-violence). Still, fuschia is close enough to purple.
Lately I've had a HUGE desire to advocate for those who cannot speak up. Have you heard of the Kony2012 demonstration? If not, check out the video at this link.
www.kony2012.com (scroll down for the video)
As well as raising awareness of sexual exploitation, I want to raise awareness of the child exploitation that is going on all over the world, particularly in the jungles of the Congo (and previously Uganda) by Joseph Kony and the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). He kidnaps children and forces them to join his army and kill their families and other children. It is just horrific. I know there are other children around the world who are suffering too (child prostitution, domestic violence) but I want to do what I can to help however I can.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
March photo challenge day 6: Challenge
The topic today is challenge. This is a video I took of our pup the other day. She is a border collie. Her border collie traits have been coming out more lately (she's 1 1/2 years old). She can be pretty chill around the house (which is great!) but sometimes she gets bored and finds ways to amuse herself. This is one of her "challenges."
In other news, I'm feeling a little blue. Basically I'm going through a jealous phase of anyone who is pregnant or has a family. Also, today I feel really hopeless about this cycle and I realized that I will be really sad if AF shows up. I don't really expect this cycle to work, but I just don't want to face more disappointment... especially right before my birthday. I was planning to have a party (vintage tea party) but I don't even know if I want to plan something like that now.
In other news, I'm feeling a little blue. Basically I'm going through a jealous phase of anyone who is pregnant or has a family. Also, today I feel really hopeless about this cycle and I realized that I will be really sad if AF shows up. I don't really expect this cycle to work, but I just don't want to face more disappointment... especially right before my birthday. I was planning to have a party (vintage tea party) but I don't even know if I want to plan something like that now.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Where I live
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| My dog at the beach |
| I wanted to post some more pictures of where I live, if only to brag about how much I love this place. The last two were taken on my iphone on my way to work while I was driving this morning (not a great idea....). The others have been collected over some time. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and let me know if you want to come visit. I love company!!! | |||||||||
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| The beach down a trail about 10 minutes from my house |
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| More mountains! |
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| I wish I could describe the splendour of the mountains better. They were so vibrant today! |
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| The Comox Glacier |
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