Oct. 29 Photo of the day

New digs!  These boys are out of the incubators and into "big boy beds" (open air cots). Hopefully their bilirubin levels stay low so they don't have to go under the lights again. We got to dress them and bundle them under piles of blankets. So cute!!!

Day 9 NICU: Having a day

 I'm having a hard day today.

The boys are doing fantastic in the NICU.  They are both feeding champs and have put on weight the past 2 days, rather than going down.  Hopefully they keep it up till they reach their birth weight again.  They still are being tube fed for some feedings, but are gaining more strength and doing longer feeds from the breast and bottle.  Both of their bilirubin levels have been up and down so they have been on and off the jaundice lights.  Hopefully they stay steady for a bit now and then they can be transferred to open cots instead of the isolettes.  We gave each of them their first sponge bath.  One liked it, the other did not.  But the cuddles afterwards when they were wrapped up in warm blankets were definitely loved!  The nurses keep telling us that once they start eating well, things often progress really quickly.  It's like a switch goes on and they usually go home within a few days.  I am preparing for us to be here at least till their twin date (Nov. 8th) but I'd love to go home earlier!

Today I just felt lonely and isolated.  Living in a crappy motel in a town that is not yours while your babies are in the NICU is HARD!  When we are not at the hospital, we are in the motel watching TV and eating take-out, or sleeping.  We have a tiny kitchen and try to eat breakfast and lunch here, but it's just not ideal.  I miss my house.  I miss my dog so much!  I just want our family to be at home all together.

I had a rough day on Friday too.  I ended up bleeding a bunch more and since I don't have a doctor here, the nurse sent me to emergency to see a doctor.  An ultrasound showed that I had retained pregnancy tissue in my uterus and I was given misoprostol to work it out.  Before I could take it, though, I started bleeding really heavily and went back to emergency.  I was admitted and ended up being monitored there for 5 hours after taking the misoprostol.  We didn't realize it at the time, but the misoprostol has side effects, such as uncontrollable shaking and fever.  I thought it was from the bleeding and it was just a real scary time.  I was so upset with having to be away from the boys.  Luckily, they had a really good nurse on and I had enough milk stocked to last the night so when I was discharged we were able to go back and rest.  I think the experience just was really draining on both DH and I.  He had a bad day yesterday, and I did today.  Parenting through that kind of stress is tough.  Being all alone through it is tough too.  Hopefully tomorrow we will wake up feeling refreshed and recovered to get back in the swing of things again.

Twin Foxes Birth Story

Well, it's a long one, but if you want to read it, here it is!

Twin Foxes Birth Story

Oct. 16th

The official birth story starts on Oct. 16th at Jeneece Place (the housing unit we were staying at). After having a regular, good day, I took a nap. When I woke up I wasn't feeling great and was stretching on the bed when I all of a sudden felt a gush. I excitedly got up and told DH that I thought my water was breaking. I ran to the washroom and sat on the toilet and saw that it was actually blood. It was gushing though and I thought maybe it was mixed with my water breaking.  Once it subsided a bit, I called L&D to tell them we were coming in, and DH wheeled me over to the hospital. They were all waiting for me (having known my history) and admitted me right away (the OB who had admitted me was even there and said I did great for holding out so long).

While there they tried to check to see if it was my water that had broken, but there was too much blood so they couldn't get a good read. I was having contractions but they were not regular or very strong. I guess they did make the call that I was likely going into labour, but the problem was that the nursery was full! So after all our waiting, they transferred me to the hospital an hour away from our home.  DH quickly packed up our things and met me there shortly after (I arrived about 11:30pm). That night was pretty restless, with the nurses checking my vitals every 2 hours, the lab in to do blood work, and an early morning wake-up call.

Oct. 17th

In the morning, I was sent for an ultrasound right away to see if we could tell from the fluid levels if my water had broken. There was a student technician doing the measurements, but her supervisor came in at the end. At the same time the OB came in to take a look. They had determined that the fluid was quite low around both babies. The OB also described to us that he was worried that if I hemmoraged again, it could put Baby A at much more risk (and he was worried my previous bleeds had affected him already). Also my platelets were quite low. If they dropped anymore, he said the anesthiologist would deny me an epidural, so I would have to have a c-section for sure. The anesthiologist who was on at the time was willing to give me an epidural with my levels being as low as they were. We were given some time to think through the decision, but determined that it was probably best for them to induce me and get the babies out. I took a shower, and then things really started to happen!

Around 2:00 the anaesthesiologist came in to place the epidural. This is the part I was most scared of, but it actually was not bad at all. Our anesthesiologist was quite a character. He was a tall, shaggy haired man, who spoke in a mumbled voice with a South African accent. He was extremely nonchalant, almost to the point of not seeming to care about what he was doing. But he did a fantastic job! I was also put on oxycotin to start the contractions. For the rest of the afternoon, I did not feel very much but visited and rested. I was confined to bed since my legs became numb with the epidural. Mom and dad were by for a visit and then my best friend arrived to help us along as our doula. That evening was a bit of a blur to me. I don't remember it being painful, but with all the drugs I was a bit out of it. My friend, DH and I visited, the nurses checked my vitals, I was hooked up to the monitors continually to keep an eye on the babies. I was really tired, so I tried to rest and did manage to sleep a bit. DH and my riend dozed by my side. In a way, it was a magical night. Outside there was a full moon (well, technically full the next night) but there was such thick fog you couldn't see it. The streetlights made the fog look orange and beautiful. In the room, we had the lights dim and were playing relaxing music featuring double bass (Garth Stevenson).  I will always remember that time.

The OB came periodically to check me. It wasn't until 11:00pm when things started to get pretty painful, and I was 8cm dilated. I couldn't feel the contractions in the top of my uterus, but with both babies' heads so low, there was extreme pressure/pain down low. The next 3 hours were a blur. As contractions progressed and became more painful, I drew within myself. I close my eyes, breathed through them, worked on relaxation skills, and tapped my fingers (while lying in the bed). DH tried to talk to me at times, but I couldn't really acknowledge their presence. Somehow, this was time for me alone.

At 2:00am the OB checked me and said that I was fully dilated. So, I was wheeled to the OR. While things were getting set up the nurse taught me how to push. DH and my friend held my legs and I worked at finding the right position to push. Since I had the epidural I couldn't feel all the contractions, but the nurse directed me. At one point, though, I stopped needing direction as I could tell when contractions were coming and I had to tell the people supporting me to get in place. It was about an hour of pushing before Baby A (Rivers) made his appearance! Once his head had appeared, I just needed to get him out. I pushed so hard! Everyone was giddy and excited as they could see his head full of hair. He had a short umbilical cord and was placed on my belly but could not make it up to my chest. DH cut his cord and looked to see that he was a boy! We were so surprised as we thought he was a girl.   The nurses were most concerned about him so he was taken away pretty quickly to be examined and DH went with him.

I spent some time trying to rest and recover but soon wanted to get the show on the road and get Baby B out! I think they turned up the oxycotin to increase my contractions, since labour was not getting going quickly again on its own. I thought it might only be a few more minutes/pushes until Baby B showed up. Boy was I wrong! Baby B must have been very comfortable and took his time coming down to the birth canal. I was pushing as hard as I could (even harder than before) but it really felt like nothing was happening. I was exhausted from pushing out Rivers, and not eating since noon the day before, but I just had to keep pushing. I remember it being so frustrating because it felt like nothing was happening, even though each push WAS directing him the right way. It was nearly a full 2 hours of pushing before the weight of his head entered the birth canal and he was ready to come out. Seriously, I did not think I was going to make it though that time. I kept telling the nurses that I couldn't do it... That I was way too tired. I didn't want a c-section, but I honestly did not think it was going to ever end. Finally it did though. I was nearly delirious from exhaustion but all of a sudden people were excited around me and told me he was coming out. The nurse kept telling me to look down to see his head, and I remember just being so angry at her. I didn't want to look! I just wanted to get that baby out! Then, at 5:22am, Micah Jude was born. As the cord was cut, we were all asking DH to say what he was, and DH was just smiling giddily not really comprehending. Finally he looked and announced that it was a boy. Micah was placed up on my chest and I was given longer to spend time with him. That moment will be forever engrained in my heart.

They took him to be checked over and DH went with him. Next it was time to deliver the placenta. I was worried this would hurt but it was super easy and came out in a couple pushes. Interestingly, the placentas were partially fused together. The doctor checked me out and said their was minor tearing so he put 4 stitches in. I just remember feeling so exhausted. All I wanted was to close my eyes and rest. Finally things were cleaned up enough and I was wheeled back to my room. The babies were being settled in the nursery with DH and I was given a chance to rest. I must have been so tired because I wasn't worried about the babies and was able to zonk out for an hour or two immediately. And then it was the "start of the day" and we began our journey with preemies in the NICU. Our first visit to see them is a blur, but they were tucked away in their incubators keeping safe. They were hooked up to the monitors, on IV, and given feeding tubes, but they were as sweet as ever! We were able to give them little cuddles for a short period of time. They needed their rest, and we did too.

And that's the story of the birth of my twin foxes.  It took me a little while to recover emotionally from all the craziness but as I am settling into things, I find myself so in love with these little guys.  I didn't know my heart could be this full.

One week!

Today marks one week since my precious boys entered this world.  One week already!  It has been a whirlwind full of highs and lows, but I wouldn't trade it for a thing. My love for these babies grows stronger every day.  

They are doing well and continuing to gain strength. Breastfeeding is going well for them both and Baby A is gaining weight. Baby B has been under the lights for jaundice so his growth has been a bit slower.  We are also working on bottle feeding and hope to transition out of the isolette in the next few days. 

We are doing well getting into a routine of things. Today, though, I am back at the doctors for increased bleeding/clots. I will have an ultrasound this afternoon to rule out any retained placenta. Otherwise I feel great and am excited for what's ahead. 

I have the boys the knitted preemie hats I had made today for their one week birthday. I'll try to get some pictures later. 

NICU Update: Day 4

Hey everyone,

Thought I'd do a bit of an update to let you know how our boys are doing here at the NICU.  Wow, as much as I had read about life in the NICU, you can not be prepared for the intensity of what it is like.  Overall, our boys are doing very well and we are so fortunate that they do not have many more concerns.  Their breathing (heart and lungs) don't seem to have any problems at all (whew!).  The biggest thing we are working on right now is their feedings.  They are both being tube fed (through the nose) and their food is given through a pump that gives out a certain amount over the period of an hour.  They both have been spewing up their food and retaining a lot of air in their bellies, which is not helping them gain the weight and strength they need.  They also are borderline for jaundice so they are being treated under the lights.  R has had  few apnea episodes, but the nurses think it is just when he is spewing and his body is actually protecting him by not allowing him to choke on the spew.

Today was a good day, though!  The twins had their IVs taken out (from antibiotics and extra fluids), they learned through the night to suck on a pacifier, AND (best of all) they each got their first chance at the breast!  Both were able to latch on right away, but it still is such a big task for little guys that they did not last long.  As soon as they tired, we just moved them to kangaroo care position and I got to cuddle them while they received the rest of their food through the tube.  That was so special!  We will try to keep that up as they build up strength to be able to breastfeed.  My milk has come in and I am now producing enough that they don't neeed to be supplemented with formula (hooray!!). Hopefully that trend continues.

As for me (and my hubby), I am recovering fantastically physically from labour.  Yesterday the day 3 baby blues hit, and they still are lingering, but I'm getting by.  What has been hardest is having people not understand how difficult this really is.  It's not like struggling with infertility for 6 years, experiencing a miscarriage, and having a complicated pregnancy were enough... now we have babies that are in the NICU.  That is the intensive care unit!  We are receiving lots of congratulations (which we love), but nobody has acknowledged how difficult this part of the journey is.  Everyone just expects that things are all peachy keen now that the babies are "safely out."  Things ARE peachy keen and we are so happy, but this is another challenge to deal with and it is truly tough!

Tomorrow I am likely being discharged.  This is a whole other scary thing to deal with, but I'm trying not to think about it too much until it happens.  Remember, we don't live in this city, so we will likely be staying in a hotel (or a family friend's house) and commuting back and forth to the hospital to be with the babes as much as possible.  It's going to be so hard being far away from them, but harder too to manage the scheduling of pumping, feeding, cuddling, getting rest, eating properly, etc.  But again, we will deal with it when it happens.  We don't really have another choice.

So, that is where we are at now.  I will try to update from time to time.  It's nice to sit down and make some sense of what is going on, but it is also nice to nap (and that is my first priority!).

Photo Op

I'm planning to post a bit later today when I have a moment to catch my breath, but couldn't help but share a photo to make you smile. These boys are 

some serious charmers already!  

Please meet our twin boys!

Everyone, I would love to introduce you to our twin boys, born earlier this morning (Oct. 18th) at 3:37am and 5:30am.  

Baby A = Rivers Josiah (4lb,12oz)

Baby B = Micah Jude (5lb, 9oz)

Both babies are wonderful and healthy and just spending time in the NICU to be monitored. Mama is in good shape, though exhausted (will write the birth story later). Babies were born vaginally without a c-section....hooray!  They are rock stars and we love them so much already.  

We are having babies!

I was induced. These babies are on their way.  We are doing a vaginal delivery with an epidural at this point.  It started an hour ago and I am 3cm dilated already!   The next time I update it will be with babies in tow!!!

Oct. 17th Update

Still waiting to hear the plan. Had an ultrasound this morning. The concern is that if there is not enough fluid around babies they may need to get them out ASAP!  The doctor should be in shortly with the results.  This is so crazy!   

Back in the hospital

For the record, 34 weeks, 5 days.  Exactly 7 weeks since I was originally admitted. 

Back in the hospital. This afternoon I had a huge gush that I thought was my water breaking, only it was all red blood. They can't tell if it was amniotic fluid or not since there was too much blood.  I was monitored and having some stronger contractions but they were not necessarily following a pattern.  So, it's wait and see once again. 

The only thing is that the nursery here is full so it looks like I will be transferred to the hospital closer to home (which was originally expected until we became comfortable here).  So DH is packing up our nice room at the house next door and I am waiting for the ambulance to do my transfer.  Never a dull moment around here.  These babies already like to keep us on our toes. 

Will post as I can!  

34 Week Recap

34 weeks!  34 weeks!  So glad to be at this point.  Of course, the longer we can keep going, the better, but this is such a huge milestone for me.  Maybe it's because I was born as a 34-weeker preemie, so it doesn't feel so scary to me.  We really are in the final countdown now, as it isn't likely we would go past 38 weeks.  Eeeek!  In this next month, we are going to have our babies!

Mood: Definitely more hormonal this week.  Just ask DH and he will confirm that. I've cried over ridiculous things, got mad at him for dumb things, and been anxious in general.  Whew!  Add in feeling homesick, a bit lonely, and transitioning out of the hospital and I've been a sweet mess (maybe I'll write more on the emotions later on). Fortunately, DH is taking it in stride and keeps telling me he loves me just the same.

Food: Suddenly my stomach has stopped working.  Okay, maybe it's been pushed out of the way and flattened into a pancake, but I just can't seem to eat!  It's so disappointing because I'm out of the hospital and just want to eat all sorts of things... but I literally take 5 bites and I'm full.  Also nothing really sounds or tastes good to me right now.  And it is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend.  Guess I won't be enjoying my turkey this year.

Body: Hmm... where to begin!  I think this past week has been the toughest on my body so far.  My belly is so heavy.  I have terrible pelvic pain that goes down through my crotch and into my inner thighs.  The nighttime seems to be the worse and I flip positions a million times at night and have to prop myself up with all sorts of pillows (in addition to now getting up to pee 3-4x per night).  My bowels are all over the place (including the start of the dreaded "H" word, which I won't expand on at this point).  The stretch marks are coming out all over.  I am just uncomfortable all over!  But, I still love the look of my growing belly and it fascinates me every time I see it.

Movement: I thought these babies would be running out of room in there, but it turns out less space = more violent movements.  At least that is how it feels on the outside.  Jabs and pokes and limbs all over the place!  I do love it, but there are times it does just hurt.  I think I have been having more braxton hicks lately too.  The time is drawing nearer...

Notable Moments: Being discharged from the hospital!  Reaching 34 weeks.

Countdown: So, now the question goes out to you... how much longer do YOU think these babies will stay in here for?  Now that we have reached this point, I have no idea whether to expect them in the next week, or whether they will stay put a bit longer.  I'd love to hear your guesses!

34 Weeks!!!!!!

We made it!  We made it!  34 weeks, here we are!!!  I'll write a full post later, but just had to share my enthusiasm and excitement on reaching this milestone. This is the week I was aiming for when I found out we were having twins.  

We celebrated by going out for breakfast and a scenic drive by the sea!  I even got dressed up and got some real bump photos (on my actual camera, but here is one from my phone). 

Photo of the day: Oct. 9th

Okay, this photo was from last night, but it was the ultimate indulgence.  I sent DH out on a late night ice cream run (can you believe it's the first time I've done that in this 33 weeks?). We sat out in the common room by the fireplace and ate right out of the tub.  Then back to the room where I got to sleep in a glorious queen size bed with a down duvet and my hubby cuddled up next to me.  It was a dream come true night!  

D-Day!

DISCHARGED!

The day is officialy here!  I am being released from the hospital, one day shy of 6 weeks exactly.  Words cannot explain how excited I am.

As I mentioned before, I will be staying just next door to the hospital in a house built by the Children's Health Foundation.  It is a house for people from out-of-town, whose children are sick in the hospital.  While we don't technically fit that criteria, we do have babies on the way who need to remain close to the hospital.  I am still on strict bed rest, and I will be having regular appointments with the doctor, weekly ultrasounds, and NSTs twice a week.  In a lot of ways, though, I am now just a "normal" 33 1/2 week pregnant lady with twins.  Hooray!!!!

I'll post a more detailed report of how things are going at 34 weeks.

Now, to figure out what to eat tonight to celebrate my first non-hospital meal...

Surviving Hospital Bed Rest

As I near the end of my hospital bedrest stay (*fingers crossed*) I have been thinking about what the experience is like.  For anyone who ends up in the hospital on bed rest like me (not that I wish it upon anyone), I thought it would be helpful to write a post about the things that have helped me get through my time.  I have found it extremely helpful to read other stories of ladies who have been through similar situations.  Somehow it gives me the strength to keep on going on those days when it is especially tough.  At the end of this blog, I gave some links of some of the stories that helped me through.  So far, I have spent just under 6 weeks on hospital bedrest.  The one nice thing I should mention is that I live in Canada, so healthcare is provided and I did not have to pay out of pocket for my mandatory time here.

These are some of the things I would suggest to get you through the time.  Eventually, it will all feel like a blur as the days roll into each other, but this does provide you a sense of normalcy in an otherwise not normal situation:

1. Create some sort of a daily routine.  Getting up at the same time, getting ready, and having a "plan" of how you will spend your day helps create a rhythm for your day.  The plan could be as simple as reading a chapter in a specific book, or going for an ultrasound in the afternoon.  Something about having a routine makes you feel more human, and less like a blob in the bed.
2. Get "ready" every day.  If you are able, take the time to shower, get dressed, and get yourself ready (hair, makeup) for the day.  I understand you may not be able to get up and out of bed, but you can still brush your hair and put it up, wash up, or do something to make yourself feel ready.  I made a point to shower every day, even when I didn't need to.  For one thing, this kills time, and for another, it provides a breaking point between days and, again, makes you feel more human.
3. Develop a good relationship with the nurses.  At the hospital I am in, there are 70 nurses who work on this unit and L&D.  Usually I meet a new nurse every day but there are a few who have been around more that I have gotten to know.  I found that if I was friendly to them, they were friendly right back, and willing to help me out and give me privileges when able to.  I even spent some time making a little gift for them.  I took a glass jar and used magazine clippings to make a thank you collage on the jar.  Then I filled it with hard wrapped candies and left it for the nurses.  They loved it, and it definitely got me in the "good books."  
4. Use a sleeping mask/ear plugs at night to get a good sleep.  I had a much easier time sleeping in a private room, but I would definitely recommend whatever sleep aids you need to get you through the night.  If you are up in the night, the next day seems that much longer as the day/night kind of blur together.  Getting a good night's sleep sets you up to enjoy the next day much more.  
5. Take up something crafty to do with your hands.  Reading and watching TV occupies the mind, but sometimes it is just nice to DO something.  Knitting, crotcheting, scrapbooking... anything that engages the mind and the hands is great.  
6. Call in as many visitors as you can (and ask them to bring you food!).  At first I was overwhelmed by the amount of people visiting, but it really does help the time go by.  There were only a handful of days that nobody came to see me (when DH was back at home), and these were the longest days.  
7. If you can't have a lot of visitors, make sure to sign up for an online support group.  There are some great sites where you can connect with other moms on bed rest (Check out www.mamasonbedrest.com to start).  I didn't have internet available for the first month, so I didn't get plugged in, but I could see how this would be an invaluable resource!  
8. Be sure to keep your body healthy and happy as much as you can.  I was given bed rest exercises to do (every hour, which I didn't follow).  I did a good stretch a few times throughout the day and moved my leg muscles whenever I remembered.  I also took a jam-like substance called Fruitlax every day to keep those bowels moving.  You will get so sick of the nurses asking you about your bowels, but it is best to do what you can to keep them in action, because the alternate is not very fun.  
9. Keep a journal of your time.  I did not explicitly keep a journal (apart from these blog posts), but I had a notebook I used.  Every day I wrote down the date and put down anything that happened that day...ultrasounds, baby growth information, blood levels, etc.  This helped me to remember details (in case the nurses asked me later) and keep track of my time in the hospital.
10. Make the room your own.  In whatever way you can, bring touches of your world and yourself into the room.  Plants work great to bring life to boring hospital colours.  Bring in pictures of family, pets, your house... things that you will miss seeing on a daily basis.  Use your own pillow and/or blanket.  My dear mother-in-law, bought me a beautiful bamboo humidifier that you could put essential oils into.  I didn't want to overwhelm the ward with the scent, but I'd put a slight drop into the water just to bring a pleasant small.  It also became the talk of the town and every one who visited my room would comment on it (that, and the collection of baby clothes I had hanging from the shelf).  
11. When you have a bad day, just get through it.  Some days will be especially tough, and you may be grumpy and cry all day.  But the next day always starts fresh!  Even when you think you can't make it through any longer... you DO.  You don't really have a choice.  This helped me gain perspective when I felt I was losing it.
12. If possible, have benchmarks to look forward to and celebrate them when you reach them.  For me, these were the two week increments of pregnancy (28, 30, 32, 34 weeks, etc.).  DH and I would always celebrate with some treat. One week my dog came to visit and I got to go outside and see her.  One week I was given a pass to go out for dinner.  Even when I had to stay in, some days I would dress up, get myself ready, and DH would bring in fast-food.  Anything to provide a break from the monotony helps.  

Remember, you WILL make it through!  What you are doing IS the best for your baby(babies), even when it feels like it is the worst for you.  Once you get to the end, you will be happy you stuck it out and put the health of your baby first.  

Here are a few other blogs with tips:

http://www.modernmom.com/blogs/lori-bregman/how-to-survive-bed-rest

http://broadwaybabies.wordpress.com/2011/12/

http://futuresupermom.wordpress.com/tag/hospital-bed-rest/

All sorts of excitement

Not a post about the babies... I feel like I have to clarify that with each post, as the time is drawing nearer and nearer.

I received some great news today!  This morning my doctor came in and sat down to have a "chat."  She said that the medical team had been speaking about me yesterday. DH and I had informally decided it might be best for us to stay in Victoria until the birth.  We've got a nice routine down here, the staff all know me, we have some family here, and DH is able to stay in the housing next door, rather than a hotel further away.  And, since I've been so stable, the medical team decided that I could be discharged early next week (when DH is back in town) to stay at the Children's Foundation Housing next door too!  I'd still be on strict bedrest, and would go to appointments at the maternity clinic and be monitored at the hospital BUT, I don't have to stay at the hospital.  HOORAY!!!!  This is the best news EVER!  I had spoken to a doctor about this possibility yesterday but she sounded like it just wasn't worth it for me.  She said that I'd probably be more active than I realize, and half the time, ladies are discharged and back in the hospital 24 hours later in active labour.  I am resolved for that NOT to be me.  As long as someone is with me at the house, all I will have to do is walk from the room to the dining area.  I still won't do cooking, and I will have a wheelchair if I want to move around a bit more.  It will be so nice!

Of course this means DH and I are committed to staying here probably another month at least.  Even if the babies come early, there is no way we would go home before then.  I am sad because I do miss my house, my town, and especially my DOG. I feel like she is going to forget who I am in this long absence.  But I do love the city of Victoria and am very happy to have my babies delivered here.  I also feel like the medical staff here are very capable and deliver a lot of twins, so that gives me confidence.  Wahoo!

The other thing that happened is that I was moved to the Motherbabe Unit (where moms go after the babies are born).  I guess the Antepartum unit was busy and full and they needed a room, and since I am the most stable patient, I was moved.  It will be interesting being on the floor with a lot of new babies, but it's only a few nights.  I just told my babies they can't be triggered into making an appearance even if they hear all these other babies crying all around them.

To top it all off, I still have a nice view.  What a good day!

33 Weeks + Babies update

33 Weeks pregnant with twins.  In the home stretch now.  If I make it 3 more weeks, I even get to go home and give birth in my home city.  C'mon babies!  Here's a recap on how things are:

Mood: After my hormone surge last week I think my body has resettled again.  I haven't had any meltdowns (so far) this week.  The only tears have come when I decided to spend a night watching YouTube videos of twin births.  That was emotional!  I haven't felt as overwhelmed, or anxious about being in the hospital.  I actually find myself "nesting" in my little hospital room, as weird as that may sound.  It's like I have kind of turned myself off from the outside world and am tuning in to my inner world in preparation for these babies.

Food: Blech... so sick of hospital food!  Fortunately, I can't eat a lot at once anymore, but I am hungry more often.  Snacks have become my best friend, and it is great when someone brings me something from the outside world.  My blood sugar has been very stable so I've even been allowing myself a few treats (shh...don't tell).  Still loving fruit and cold beverages.  I wonder if that will suddenly stop once I give birth?

Body: Well, in some regards I wouldn't call it the most cooperative, but I guess it's doing alright.  Since the bleeding/clot incident on Tuesday I have been spotting all week, which is expected.  My cervix is still the same length (2cm) and not dilated (hooray!).  In some ways, I think my body is doing great at keeping these babies in, kind of like it did with my first pregnancy where I had miscarried but my body didn't want to let it go.  Maybe I will go to full term!  I must say I am very uncomfortable.  My last measurement showed that I was almost 39 weeks in size, and both babies are head down.  I have a lot of inner hip/groin/crotch pain, especially at night and when switching positions.  My weight had dipped down a few pound last week (but I think it's because I hadn't eaten much the previous  night and was hungry).  And those darn stretch marks have made their appearance known.  I have a few new ones on my inner upper thigh, and some just above my crotch.  Oh well!

Movement: Babies are getting more and more active... or maybe it's just that I feel every kick and squirm since they are running out of room.  Baby B gets the hiccups all the time.  I think Baby A has started to as well, but I feel it within, and not so much on the outside.

Sleep: Sleeping good through the night with about 2 trips to the bathroom.  Taking a daily nap too.

What I miss most: Walking (especially in this lovely fall weather), drinking wine, being able to bend over enough to shave my legs, my dog!, my home, fresh coffee

Notable moments: DH got to come to the ultrasound this week.  I didn't realize how few he has been to but this was only his 3rd time!  It was a full growth scan so he got to see quite a bit (though he said it was a bit boring waiting for all the measurements, haha, what a guy response!).

Oh, and I never did give an update on the babies!  Fluids and placentas and everything looked great.  Baby A is measuring (drum roll please....) 4lb,5oz and apparently has long legs.  Baby B still has a big head (90th percentile) and is measuring 5lb,2oz!  The report said that they have had "excellent growth."  That means I'm carrying close to 10lbs of baby!!!  Also, during the ultrasound we couldn't get a profile of B since he/she was facing towards my back, BUT, the tech was able to point out little tufts of hair on the head!  That was so incredible.  I definitely cried then.  I love babies that come out with hair and I was hoping ours would.  Baby A's head was too low to see if there was hair or not.

Also, I still have not been able to get into the "closer" hospital, but I'm not sure I want to at this point.  We have a good routine here and the staff all know me and my case.  This week DH got into the Children's Hospital housing next to the hospital and it is so nice!  I was even given pass to go hang out there in the afternoons twice this week.  I slept in a real bed, and drank tea that was fresh and hot, and it was just lovely!  Hopefully they have room for him to stay here next week too.  Getting out of the hospital for a few hours makes a huge amount of difference to my sanity!

Here are some pics from the house (they even have volunteers bring in some meals/desserts, and downstairs there is a theater room, a gaming room, a computer room... it is seriously so nice here!).  If the babies do come early, at least I know we will be in a great place!

My Surreal World

I alluded to how I am feeling about being pregnant in my post yesterday.  Sometimes I still just can't believe this is happening. It's like I am going through all these motions (staying in the hospital, growing my belly, eating healthy, going to ultrasounds) with one part of my brain while there is another part that refuses to believe it. Well, maybe "refuses" is too strong of a word. It's more like part of me is in awe that this is actually REAL.  That side is sort of detached in a way. I don't know if it is self-preservation from being worried that something will still go wrong, or just a sense of shock and disbelief that  soon we will be parents to two little munchkins.  I mean, I haven't even bought any cute outfits or done shopping for them, apart from the necessary things needed for babies.  Maybe part of it is not knowing the genders too. I'm sure I'll go crazy wanting to go shopping once they arrive.

The fact that they are twins is even more mind blowing. I don't know how I will get used to the "twin hype" that I hear that Twinkie moms (moms of twins) experience.  This has never been on my radar. I guess I see these babies as such individuals that I don't think of them as "twins" in the way most people do.  I just feel like we are adding two babies to our family at the same time. The fact that we are adding any babies at all is what is extraordinary to me.

I don't know when it is going to sink in that this actually is happening. I feel like its not going to be until we are actually at home with these little beings trying to figure out what to do!  Even then, I am sure it will seem surreal.  

I am so grateful for these precious lives. I feel like we don't deserve such an incredible blessing, but I can't wait to experience them all the same. 

Settled down

Just thought I'd write a quick update to let you all know that things have settled down.  You can tell which patients are high priority based on how much the nurses are in and out of the room.  Today I hardly saw the nurses at all.  Haha!  The bleeding pretty much stopped and I wasn't having cramping or contractions today.  I think the clot had just irritated my uterus.

So, all in all it was an uneventful day today, which is just fine in my books.  I am starting to feel like these babies will come soonish.  When I think about how we are nearly 33 weeks, it really hits me that it is highly possible that in 2-3 weeks we could be parents!  Even though I'm sitting in a hospital, reading birth/baby books, and growing larger day by day, I still feel shocked that these will actually be MY babies.  That I will be a mom.  That we will be a family.  It is pretty extraordinary.  And how cool is it that my body is growing two babies as we speak.  I still can't get over that.

So, I'll leave you with a picture of our family-to-be.  DH jokes that our babies are going to look older than us, since we are both such baby-faces.  I just think they will be cute!

A Little Excitement (32w4d)

Nope, no babies yet... I'll just clear the air with that one first off.

I had been planning a post entitled "Quiet on all fronts" until today, when that changed.  Warning: This is a TMI post so if you're sqeamish you may want to skip.

The past 3 days I have suddenly developed a case of diarrhea.  You may remember that this is something I faced all throughout pregnancy until I got into the hospital.  Here, I have had to take something to keep myself regular.  So the development back to diarrhea was a bit unexpected.  Additionally, when I went to the washroom the other day, I noticed a bit of fresh red blood when I wiped.  I was told to keep an eye on it and found that it only happened after a bowel movement, but it was coming from the vaginal area.  Strange.

Well, today I woke up and got up to go to the washroom.  I noticed a bit of blood on the sheets and as soon as I moved to walk, I felt something come out of my lady parts.  I recognized the feeling right away and knew it was a clot.  Sure enough, I went to the bathroom and there was a clot almost the size of my fist in my underwear (gross!).  I cleaned up and called in the nurses.  I wasn't sure if that is what the mucous plug is like, but it seemed much bigger to me.  They confirmed it looked like a clot and put me back in bed with a NST.  Sure enough, I was contracting and had an "irritable uterus."  I was also cramping pretty bad and my back ached a lot.  I was hooked up to an IV (just in case) and breakfast was cleared away (though I begged for some ice chips to moisten my dry morning mouth).  The doctor came in to do an internal check of my cervix and said that it was closed and dry, and about 1cm in length.  

I've been resting now for a few hours and it seems like things have settled down a lot. We are hoping this is the clot from earlier that has just passed now (though I don't know why it hasn't been noted in the past few ultrasounds?).  Hopefully things will quiet down and go back to normal and we'll wait a few more weeks for these babies to arrive!  For now, I am just being monitored and playing the "wait and see" game. DH was at home (3 hours away) but planning to come down today, so I called him this morning and told him to get on the road right away, just in case.  He is on the way down now.  

So that's my story this morning.  I'm so happy to have made it this far with this difficult pregnancy, but hoping these little rascals stay in there a bit longer.  I'll do my best to keep you all posted.