My Surreal World

I alluded to how I am feeling about being pregnant in my post yesterday.  Sometimes I still just can't believe this is happening. It's like I am going through all these motions (staying in the hospital, growing my belly, eating healthy, going to ultrasounds) with one part of my brain while there is another part that refuses to believe it. Well, maybe "refuses" is too strong of a word. It's more like part of me is in awe that this is actually REAL.  That side is sort of detached in a way. I don't know if it is self-preservation from being worried that something will still go wrong, or just a sense of shock and disbelief that  soon we will be parents to two little munchkins.  I mean, I haven't even bought any cute outfits or done shopping for them, apart from the necessary things needed for babies.  Maybe part of it is not knowing the genders too. I'm sure I'll go crazy wanting to go shopping once they arrive.

The fact that they are twins is even more mind blowing. I don't know how I will get used to the "twin hype" that I hear that Twinkie moms (moms of twins) experience.  This has never been on my radar. I guess I see these babies as such individuals that I don't think of them as "twins" in the way most people do.  I just feel like we are adding two babies to our family at the same time. The fact that we are adding any babies at all is what is extraordinary to me.

I don't know when it is going to sink in that this actually is happening. I feel like its not going to be until we are actually at home with these little beings trying to figure out what to do!  Even then, I am sure it will seem surreal.  

I am so grateful for these precious lives. I feel like we don't deserve such an incredible blessing, but I can't wait to experience them all the same.