It's a rare day that I actually have a chance to sit down and write a little bit. I long to do so more often... but there are always other things that have to come first. The boys are both napping, and I am sipping coffee rather than lying down for a catnap. It's over a year since they've been born, and I still feel the need to nap every single day. Even if it's just for 10 minutes... I have such a hard time getting through the day otherwise. My days start at 6am and end at 10pm, so it feels like two back-to-back 8-hour shifts. The midday closing of the eyes helps me make it through. But it is also my only time "alone" so I want to start taking it back for myself, though some days sleep is the best thing I need.
But that's all beside the point.
The point is, we are officially done nursing. And I feel so mixed about it.
On one hand, I am glad it went very smoothly. I didn't really decide to be done, but we decided to try to cut out bottles more in the daytime, and switch the boys to sippy cups. This encouraged them to drink more milk throughout the daytime. I really was only nursing first thing in the morning. But that nursing session got faster and faster, until they weren't really drinking at all and were only waiting for their cup of milk later on (and the cheerios that go with it). So I experimented giving them a bottle or cup first thing in the morning, and all of a sudden... that's what they want. There were a few days where RJ was waking up in the night when he was sick and I tried to nurse them, to help speed up his recovery. But now, if I show them my breast, they just sort of examine it with a look like, "Yeah, I remember that thing" but they don't care to latch on anymore.
And so I think we're done.
It happened rather abruptly for me. I stopped pumping on their first birthday, but I planned to keep nursing in the morning, and in the daytime or night if they were upset/hurt/in pain for a while longer...maybe until they were 2 years old. I feel like, though, they saw the breast for nourishment, not as much for comfort. And now that they are getting filled elsewhere, they just don't think they need it. They are also busy little boys. They don't want to stop playing to nurse. No thank you mom!
I would do things differently if there were a next time. I transitioned them pretty quickly to cow's milk, though now I realize I didn't really need to. We started giving a bottle as part of the bedtime routine a long time ago, and I wish I would have kept that to be a special nursing time. Also with sleep training, we stopped night nursing a long time ago. But now I miss all those things. All of my other friends with twins are done nursing too. I just don't know if I was quite ready...
There is a part of me that feels like motherhood is about being physically connected to my babies. For 8 months I carried them inside my body. Then I birthed them out of my body. Then for a whole year I sustained their life through my body. It is such an incredible, bonding experience. I guess I am now reframing my definition of motherhood as they (in a small way) detach from me. It's a little bit sad.
Those last few sessions nursing were very precious. RJ had been sick and he cuddled and nursed for almost 20 minutes one time. I won't ever forget those times of cuddles. Overall, I am glad I had such a positive experience with nursing, even though it wasn't always easy. I know I am lucky to have made it this far, and though it's sad, we are onto another chapter which will bring new joys.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014
A day in the life of one year old twins
It's been a while since I've done a "day in the life of" blog post. Now that the boys are one, I thought it would be neat to share what our (hectic) day looks like. This is an example of a day that I am home with the boys alone.
6:00-7:00am - The boys usually wake up within this window (though last night we put them to bed at 7 and they slept through until 7:40am!!!). I go into their room to greet them, and then take turns nursing them while the other one plays with toys in the room. Oh, and the dog joins me to greet the boys first thing every morning.
7:00 - Cheerios and free play. The first thing that RJ does when we leave the room is he goes to the kitchen and points at the cheerios cupboard and whines. Every. Single. Morning. Haha, he is relentless when he wants something. They each get a little cup of cheerios and we go into the living room (where they eat a few and shake most of the rest to the floor for the dog). I set out a few toys, put on some music and they play while I get organized for the morning. I put on the kettle (for tea, then for coffee), empty the dishwasher, make breakfast, try to make some snacks for the day, and currently boil water (we're on a boil water advisory so all our drinking water has to be boiled).
7:30/8:00 - We eat breakfast together. Breakfast normally is a bowl of oatmeal, a shared piece of toast, and some bananna. On days when we have more time we do pancakes, french toast or eggs.
8:00 - Playtime, get dressed, change diapers, and wake up dad (by jumping on him in bed, of course)
8:30/9:00 - By 9:00 the boys are down for their first nap, and usually sleep at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half. This nap usually isn't a problem and they like to cuddle back in bed (so would I). This is my time to get myself organized for the day, so I shower, clean up breakfast, start any laundry for the day and pack up our bag for the day.
10:30 - Once the boys are up, they get a bottle of milk (about 200mLs). We are working to transition them to sippy cups, but they still love their bottles. We change diapers and then usually try to head out to do something before lunch (baby group, StrongStart, groceries, or play at the park). If we don't go out here it makes the day a little long.
12:00 - We aim to come home for lunch by this time and the boys have lunch, play around a little, and then go down for 2nd nap. Lunch typically is sandwich, or crackers with hummus, cheese, veggies, and apple or orange.
1:00/1:30 - Naptime. I usually take a little break here and try to close my eyes for a few minutes at least, but this is also the best time if I need to do any work (emails, phone calls) or prepare dinner.
3:00 - Boys are up and have another bottle of milk (200mls). There are not usually too many activities for one-year olds in the afternoon, so this is where we try to be creative. It's quite a long stretch between now and naptime, so I try to break it up. If it's not pouring rain, we usually go out for a good walk during this time. If it is, we sometimes have someone over, or I have baby help to play with the boys while I do other household chores. Or we go for a drive and go shopping. Their dad usually comes home during this time and joins in the fun.
5:00 - Home for dinner. The boys still eat dinner really early so we don't eat all together, which is something I am looking forward to. They eat much better when we are eating too, but there is just no way I am organized or hungry for our dinner by 5pm. Dinner is usually leftovers from whatever we ate the night before if the boys can eat it. They're a bit more picky right now, but they still like baby mush (jar food), pasta, sometimes squash and sweet potato. Finding ways to serve them meat is the challenge. I hope they soon start to feed themselves too...
5:30/6:00 - After dinner they have their final playtime. These last few hours are the "crazy hours" where they are active, needy, whiny, and just need to burn off energy! A few times we have gone to the park, but since it's fall now, it's usually too dark/wet. All the toys get played with and thrown around until finally it's time to get ready for bed.
6:00/6:30 - Bedtime routine - We only bath them every second night (though they LOVE their bath). Bedtime routine is bath, diaper, PJs, bottle (180mLs formula), story, sleepsac, soother, and bed. They usually go down no problem! Depending on how their last nap went, they usually are asleep by 6:30/7:00. And we are exhausted!!!
But it's not over yet.... I like to do a quick tidy once we put them down so at least the toys are put away. Then we finally eat our dinner. Then it's time to do final dishes cleanup, sweep and mop the floors (they get so dirty every single day from these boys now), prepare food for the next day (usually just planning and pulling out meat), finish drying/folding laundry (it never gets put away on time) and get ready to start all over again in the morning. That usually takes me till 8:30/9:00 when I finally put on the kettle for a cup of tea to enjoy, check my email, and cuddle up to watch some TV. I try to be in bed by 10pm, just in case there are night wakings or an early start.
And that's about it.
As you can see, it is so busy just managing the day-to-day that I still find it tricky to fit in any "extra" chores/jobs/activities. That is something I really want to focus on especially as we come to the new year. I find that all day I am planning and preparing for what is next, but I'd like to be able to just breathe a little bit more and live in the moment. Now that I have started work, there is a whole new dynamic (that I'll write about on a different day). But I do enjoy it all. I love doing all the tasks that keep my family running. I'm still learning how to adjust to this as my "new normal" but I think we're doing a pretty good job at managing so far.
Thoughts? Any suggestions or stories to share about how your day looks?
6:00-7:00am - The boys usually wake up within this window (though last night we put them to bed at 7 and they slept through until 7:40am!!!). I go into their room to greet them, and then take turns nursing them while the other one plays with toys in the room. Oh, and the dog joins me to greet the boys first thing every morning.
7:00 - Cheerios and free play. The first thing that RJ does when we leave the room is he goes to the kitchen and points at the cheerios cupboard and whines. Every. Single. Morning. Haha, he is relentless when he wants something. They each get a little cup of cheerios and we go into the living room (where they eat a few and shake most of the rest to the floor for the dog). I set out a few toys, put on some music and they play while I get organized for the morning. I put on the kettle (for tea, then for coffee), empty the dishwasher, make breakfast, try to make some snacks for the day, and currently boil water (we're on a boil water advisory so all our drinking water has to be boiled).
7:30/8:00 - We eat breakfast together. Breakfast normally is a bowl of oatmeal, a shared piece of toast, and some bananna. On days when we have more time we do pancakes, french toast or eggs.
8:00 - Playtime, get dressed, change diapers, and wake up dad (by jumping on him in bed, of course)
8:30/9:00 - By 9:00 the boys are down for their first nap, and usually sleep at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half. This nap usually isn't a problem and they like to cuddle back in bed (so would I). This is my time to get myself organized for the day, so I shower, clean up breakfast, start any laundry for the day and pack up our bag for the day.
10:30 - Once the boys are up, they get a bottle of milk (about 200mLs). We are working to transition them to sippy cups, but they still love their bottles. We change diapers and then usually try to head out to do something before lunch (baby group, StrongStart, groceries, or play at the park). If we don't go out here it makes the day a little long.
12:00 - We aim to come home for lunch by this time and the boys have lunch, play around a little, and then go down for 2nd nap. Lunch typically is sandwich, or crackers with hummus, cheese, veggies, and apple or orange.
1:00/1:30 - Naptime. I usually take a little break here and try to close my eyes for a few minutes at least, but this is also the best time if I need to do any work (emails, phone calls) or prepare dinner.
3:00 - Boys are up and have another bottle of milk (200mls). There are not usually too many activities for one-year olds in the afternoon, so this is where we try to be creative. It's quite a long stretch between now and naptime, so I try to break it up. If it's not pouring rain, we usually go out for a good walk during this time. If it is, we sometimes have someone over, or I have baby help to play with the boys while I do other household chores. Or we go for a drive and go shopping. Their dad usually comes home during this time and joins in the fun.
5:00 - Home for dinner. The boys still eat dinner really early so we don't eat all together, which is something I am looking forward to. They eat much better when we are eating too, but there is just no way I am organized or hungry for our dinner by 5pm. Dinner is usually leftovers from whatever we ate the night before if the boys can eat it. They're a bit more picky right now, but they still like baby mush (jar food), pasta, sometimes squash and sweet potato. Finding ways to serve them meat is the challenge. I hope they soon start to feed themselves too...
5:30/6:00 - After dinner they have their final playtime. These last few hours are the "crazy hours" where they are active, needy, whiny, and just need to burn off energy! A few times we have gone to the park, but since it's fall now, it's usually too dark/wet. All the toys get played with and thrown around until finally it's time to get ready for bed.
6:00/6:30 - Bedtime routine - We only bath them every second night (though they LOVE their bath). Bedtime routine is bath, diaper, PJs, bottle (180mLs formula), story, sleepsac, soother, and bed. They usually go down no problem! Depending on how their last nap went, they usually are asleep by 6:30/7:00. And we are exhausted!!!
But it's not over yet.... I like to do a quick tidy once we put them down so at least the toys are put away. Then we finally eat our dinner. Then it's time to do final dishes cleanup, sweep and mop the floors (they get so dirty every single day from these boys now), prepare food for the next day (usually just planning and pulling out meat), finish drying/folding laundry (it never gets put away on time) and get ready to start all over again in the morning. That usually takes me till 8:30/9:00 when I finally put on the kettle for a cup of tea to enjoy, check my email, and cuddle up to watch some TV. I try to be in bed by 10pm, just in case there are night wakings or an early start.
And that's about it.
As you can see, it is so busy just managing the day-to-day that I still find it tricky to fit in any "extra" chores/jobs/activities. That is something I really want to focus on especially as we come to the new year. I find that all day I am planning and preparing for what is next, but I'd like to be able to just breathe a little bit more and live in the moment. Now that I have started work, there is a whole new dynamic (that I'll write about on a different day). But I do enjoy it all. I love doing all the tasks that keep my family running. I'm still learning how to adjust to this as my "new normal" but I think we're doing a pretty good job at managing so far.
Thoughts? Any suggestions or stories to share about how your day looks?
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