Remember and Honour

Mother's Day... 

The day that brings me back to this space.  While joyous, it awakens the smart of a sting of pain that will never fully heal.  It reminds me of those who are still in pain, longing and grief. 

I am so grateful for my boys.  But I never, ever, will forget what it was like to wait for them to come.

When I was young (really, I'm not that old to be using that phrase but it's true), Mother's Day was different.  Sure, we made a crappy breakfast in bed and drew cards in school for our mom.  But there wasn't this hyper-awareness to celebrate ALL women who had joined the ranks of motherhood.  On Mother's Day, you, the kid, celebrated YOUR mom.  You didn't celebrate other moms.  Your dad didn't dote on mom on your behalf.  You didn't designate the whole day to "pampering" and sending her away to the spa.  It was just nice, and simple, and honouring in whatever way you saw fit.  Now as a mom it's different.  There's this comparison... this pressure... "What are you doing for Mother's Day?"  "Are you taking the day off?"  "Will you spend the day at the spa?" 

Today is mixed for me.  Not even mixed... I still have a place in my heart that doesn't want to celebrate.  But I will remember.  And I will love my boys like never before. 

*     *    *    *     *

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heartache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.