I had a meeting this week with my work colleagues to discuss my back-to-work plan. We are 7 1/2 months into the 12 month maternity leave I get. That leaves me 4 1/2 months to go.
When I went into my meeting, I really had no idea what I was going to say. I was feeling so mixed about going back to work. If we didn't have to worry about finances, I would love to stay at home with the boys, especially at this time in their lives. But finances are a concern. Also, I spent nearly 7 years of my life working towards a degree, and still have a student loan to payoff, so it seems silly not to actually go back to work. I had begun to establish myself in the community as a counsellor before I went on bedrest, and I would have to start back at square one if I waited too long. Plus, I really do have an awesome job lined up. My colleagues are wonderful. They want me to be on their team and are helping me become established as a new counsellor. They are willing to offer me a gradual re-entry to work, and letting me choose my own days/hours and work as much or little as I want at the beginning. Plus they gave me a substantial pay raise to make it worthwhile for me to work. It really doesn't get better than that.
So, I will be returning to work in the fall. I think it will be good for me. But in many ways I just don't want to.
I love this time at home with my boys! I love our daily routine. I love being there for every milestone, and every feeding (well mostly), and watching them grow day by day. I know I won't miss out by being out of the home a few days a week, but still. This is such a special time and I want to treasure every moment.
It's going to be a good summer. I'm so excited to make the most of it.