Guilty as charged...

Guilt. I recently realized that this is something that I am carrying with me on this journey of infertility. Not a guilt that I have done something wrong. And not a guilt that I am somehow inferior. But a guilt and shame that cannot be easily described. This is why we have not told many people about our struggles. I feel like naming it implies somehow that we are not _____(fill in the blank) enough. Not good enough. Not trying enough. Not well enough. Not stress-free enough. Not enough.

I hate this disease. I hate that we have to grieve in secrecy. I hate all the stupid comments insensitive people make. I hate not knowing how to deal with the emotional consequences, and not even know where to go or who to go to...

I just found a site and read an article on unexplained infertility that I really appreciated. It described me. Maybe this will be of some hope to someone else too.

http://www.resolve.org/diagnosis-management/infertility-diagnosis/unexplained-infertility.html