The Dreaded Dentist

Well I seem to be a mixed bag of emotions here still. One moment I’m fine, and the next I am on the brink of tears for no apparent reason! I think I am also hyper-sensitive to anyone who is rude or inconsiderate too. I went to the dentist today and had my first moment of “public exposure.” On the intake form there was a section for any current medication and health problems that were being treated. And, for the first time in my life, I AM on a medication – clomid. So, of course, I had to put it down and write that I was seeing a doctor for fertility treatments. Also, I had seen another dentist in town, whom I did not want to keep seeing, and so I had asked for my files to be sent over. I called a little while back to confirm that they were sending my files and they said they would. Then I arrived today and the dentist did not have my files. It made me even madder at the previous dentist, and so I told the new one that I did not want to have any X-rays done because I had just had them done a few months ago. Anyways, the lady at the desk seemed to be a bit in a snuff because of it all (though maybe it was just my perception). She was also rude and slow at her job and it made me especially ticked off.

My visit with the dentist was good. The assistant was super nice and even asked me if there was a chance that I might be pregnant because they wanted to do a different type of X-ray (she told me not to go until I’m sure that I’m not pregnant). At the end of our visit she even told me not to worry about something (I don’t quite remember what) because “you have enough on your plate right now.” It was the first outside acknowledgment of what I am going through. And it felt so good! The dentist also acknowledged it slightly, telling me that it will happen when it happens and at least I am still young (…not always what I want to hear, but he was genuine and I actually appreciated that he mentioned it). He also thanked me for trusting him and I felt real safe.

Anyways, all-in-all it was a good experience. Tomorrow I go for my day 21 progesterone! I don’t even know if progesterone is affected if you get pregnant, but secretly I hope that I am pregnant and something shows up different, hehe. But that is wishful thinking and I should really ground myself in reality. I have been feeling a bit blah and am super sensitive to any possible symptom that I experience! Last night I had a real bad cramp in my right side – I actually woke up my husband. All through the night I felt pressure in my abdomen and into this morning. Could that be a sign of anything happening (apart from cysts forming, dear God I hope not!)? I wish it were, but I don’t want to get my hopes too high, either. I just realized that I am scheduled to get my period a few days before we leave to go camping out in the wilderness (only with porter potties). That would royally suck (especially because we were planning some hikes on trails that are frequented by bears…) so I am really hoping it either comes early, and gets it over with, or comes quite late… or (best case scenario) doesn’t come at all! Of course if we are camping and it’s late I will be freaking out and probably wait till we get home to take a pee test…