March Photo Challenge - Day 5: Commute

It is a beautiful day here in paradise.  I am super lucky to live where I do...  really, I think Vancouver Island is one of the most beautiful places on this earth.  If you have never been, you really NEED to go!  You won't find untouched beauty like this everywhere.

The picture today is the scene that I drive by every day on my way to work.  I tried to take a picture while I was driving, but it really did not do it justice... so I'm cheating and stealing someone else's shot from the web.  I'll still post one of mine later when I'm home again.  My morning drive goes by an inlet on the ocean that is backdropped by huge snow-tipped mountain .  The main mountain in this photo is the glacier, but all around it are mountain ranges.  It just makes my soul go, "ahhh" whenever I drive into work. 

Too bad I don't actually feel like being at work today... 

March photo challenge

I've decided to participate in the March photo challenge put on by Belle over at Scrambled Eggs.  I'm a bit behind, so I'll post some older pics to start.  I won't promise to update every day, but hopefully this will be something to keep my mind off things through the month.  Enjoy!

Day 1 - Self Portrait.  This was taken almost a year ago on my 30th birthday.

Day 2 - Feet.  These are my first pair of slipper socks I knit.

Day 3 - Domestic.  Yes, I am domestic.  Strawberry jam and fresh strawberry pie, made from scratch.

Day 4 - Illuminate.

d2piui

I am having such a lovely day today.  I just realized, it's only 2:30 and I have accomplished everything that I wanted to for the day and have the rest of the day to have fun.  This morning I got up early and headed into town for the Farmer's Market.  I love that it runs all year round here.  When we can afford it, I prefer to buy my meat local and organic.  Today I picked up some yummy looking farmer sausage as well as some pork chops.  Also bought onions, squash and, of course, fresh eggs.  Mmm!  I wandered around a bit downtown and found a plant sale.  Today is "Seedy Saturday" where people exchange and sell seeds and such.  I was short on time but picked up a couple new plants for my sad looking garden.  When I got home the sun was out and in a burst of inspiration I decided to tend to the garden a little bit.  I basically cleared out all the old growth and then mixed some compost in as I turned over the soil bed.  Whew!  It was more work than I expected, but nice to be outside and doing something productive.  Now I'm cuddled up with a cup of tea and some fruit, cheese and chocolate and a book to read.  Ahh!  Tonight we're heading with some friends to a pub to watch the hockey game and play pool.  Should be fun.  I really think this is what every Saturday should be like.

Here are some pics of things from my day:

1Dpiui

1Dpiui.  That just sounds so silly to write.  One day past IUI.  How do I feel?

Overall, pretty good.  I definitely felt cramping throughout the evening/last night.  I slept in today, which was glorious!  Between all the 6-hour trips to the clinic and getting up early for bloodwork before going to work this week, I was exhausted!  I really needed to catch up on some zzz's.  My neck and back are a bit sore today.  I'm not sure if that's a result of the IUI, or ovulation, or just sleeping funny.

Emotionally, I just feel pretty proud of myself for going through with it.  If you asked me a few years ago if this is something I thought I could do, I'm pretty sure I would have said a resounding NO.  I feel proud that we were able to take initiative and make this happen.  I feel like I could do it again if it doesn't work this time.  I really would prefer not to, but I know it's likely that we will.  It's not super common for IUI to work the first time.  And I'm worrying about the timing, since my eggs had not yet released and washed sperm doesn't stick around as long.  Really, it's all pretty nerve-wracking.  I just wish we knew one way or the other!  At the same time, even if we DO get preggers from this, I am freaked out about the possibility of a miscarriage or something.  I haven't had any miscarriages, as far as I know, but I still see it all the time on blogs.  But enough of that.

Here I am today and I have 13 days to go before I go for blood work.  I am going to make good use of this time.  And, since there are people I know in real life who read this blog (okay, only one but she's special!), I'm not going to be tracking any of my symptoms for the 2ww.  At least not online.  I will keep track and post them all IF anything happens.  But if not, I don't want to have the emotional roller coaster of obsessing over every little symptom here online.  And this way I can keep the suspense a little longer and have a chance to let others know in person before I blog about it.  So, come day 14, don't expect much of a spoiler post, because I'll give it some time to settle before I do blog about it.

Having said all that (my, I'm rambling today), I will keep blogging about other things in my life, and about thoughts about infertility in general. And, in light of that, I've put together a list of things that I plan to do to keep me occupied over this dreadful two-week-wait!  I love lists.  All yesterday I was making lists in my head and today is my day to get my life in order, write out my lists and get going on things.  I love that.  Am I weird, or what?  So, this is what I plan to keep me busy for the next 2 weeks:

1. Contact Olivia re. pampered chef pan (it cracked right in half just a month after purchasing it)
2. Plant vegetable seeds for my garden to start indoors
3. Repot house plants (need to buy pots first)
4. Buy new socks
5. Make laundry soap (I make an awesome home-made kind, I'll post about it when I do make it)
6. Plan my birthday tea party (I'm super excited to have a spring birthday tea and can't wait to start planning)
7. Finish knitting DH's scarf (now that winter is practically over...)
8. Find and bake a new bread recipe
9. File taxes (this is more of DH's job, but I'll try to get him to do it to keep him busy too)
10. Sign up for RRSP's
11. Trim bangs and wax eyebrows (maybe throw in a little pedicure too)
12. Find or make pillows for the living room (I need some colour in my life!)
13. Deal with consignment clothes piling up in the spare room
14. I'll leave this one blank... any tips or other ideas of something to finish off my list?

In closing, DH was talking with our friends P&J who know about what we're going through, and was telling them about the experience yesterday.  Apparently (I thought this was so cute) he told them that the whole thing the most intimate, un-intimate experience we have had.  Meaning, that as un-intimate as the whole thing was... we found a way to connect and have some intimacy through the ridiculousness of it all.  Does that make sense?  I thought it was pretty cute and just wanted to share.

First IUI

The deed has been done.  As of right now, there are 6 million little swimmers making their way to my soon-to-be-released eggs, all 4 of them!  Here's the scoop on how it happened (and it's quite a detailed account, for anyone who may be interested).

We got up this morning and had a nice leisurely drive to the city.  Once we got to the clinic, DH went in to give his sample while I took the dog for a walk and prayed, prayed, prayed like crazy!  I specifically prayed that he would be able to do what he had to, and that his little guys would be healthy and strong.  I took a picture of myself and texted him some support too!  It wasn't too long till he was out and we headed for some lunch.  He said it was awkward - it's just a small little room with a chair and a sink.  But he did it.  I was so proud of him.  This is WAY out of his comfort zone.  I know it's not comfortable for any guy, but my DH is especially sensitive about private matters like these (I think he blushes inside when I even say the word "sex").

After lunch we headed back in for the "fun" part.  DH came in with me and lay there waiting for the doctor.  This was the first time I felt nervous.  But the Dr. came in with some great news.  DH had given an awesome sample of 6 swimmers at 92% motility (after the wash)!  Woo hoo!  The Dr. said that it was really good.  He handed us the sample and made me check the name to make sure it matched up (haha, that was the best part).  He then wanted to check me to make sure everything was looking alright.  I had 4 eggs, but they had not been released yet.  And then it was time for the procedure (if you don't want to read all the gory details, you can skip the rest of the paragraph).  It was different than a normal U/S or Pap... definitely felt more invasive and uncomfortable.  First of all, whatever they put in first (to open me up, I assume?) felt warm, almost like a burning metal.  The Dr. made me cough to release some sort of pressure, or something.  Then he had to steady my cervix so he had to put some sort of device in, which pinched.  There was a feeling of cramping as this was all going on.  I think he then must have put the sample in because it felt like a cold liquid made its way up.  It was all a bit painful, more than any of the other procedures so far.  It may have just been that I was nervous and really had NO IDEA what to expect.  How do you mentally prepare for something like this?  Finally it was over.  It pinched as they took everything out, but that was it.  Done.

Since my eggs had not released, the Dr. wanted to give me a HCG shot to trigger the eggs.  He explained what I was to do next, and then left the room.  A nurse came in and gave me a shot in the belly (which stung, and still is tender).  Then we lay there for 15 minutes.  At this point both DH and I felt a surge of stress release.  Well, for me I was still feeling the effects of my anxiety, and got a bit shaky as I lay there.  DH just started to freak out about the possibility of having 4 BABIES!  This, in turn, freaked me out.  Eventually we put some music on our ipod and I tried to just relax.  Whew!

After that, I got dressed, we headed out to pay, and left.  That was it!  The Dr. said I would probably have some cramping today and tomorrow and that the shot might burn a little.  I was given a requisition for blood work in 2 weeks (two long weeks!).  We decided not to do much more and made a few quick stops and then started the 3-hour trek home.  I lay down most of the drive, just letting things "settle."  DH didn't want me to pee, haha, and I tried to hold it, but didn't last long.  I know it doesn't make a difference, but it still felt counter-intuitive.  I bought some grape juice, as I've heard that is good to help something with implantation (may be an old wives tale, but I'll try anything!).  Also picked up a pineapple on the way home.  It is supposed to contain bromelain, which helps stimulate the blood flow to the uterus.  Anything to help my lining develop is great!  And now I'm at home, in comfy pants, lying on the couch watching TV while a store-bought lasagna cooks in the oven.

I really can't believe it is done.  What a weird day.  Now, of course, I'm obsessing over statistics about amount of eggs, sperm count and IUI...  I don't have anything in my agenda tomorrow, except for a Downton Abby date with my friend.  I need to start a new knitting project.  That will be my saving grace over this 2WW.  Overall, I feel really hopeful about today.  Everything seemed to line up.  I know it's not too common for IUI to work on the first shot, but maybe we'll be lucky?  Oh I have so many thoughts in my head right now, but I should probably stop blogging and save some for later.  Thanks for listening and thanks for all the support!  Will keep you posted!!!

HFS... it's going to happen!

Okay, okay, okay.... freaking out even more right now, but in a good way.  Pretty much as soon as I posted my last post the clinic called.  Thank you!!!!

We're going for our first IUI TOMORROW!  Apparently, I am surging now and we are to head to the clinic tomorrow.  I asked about my blood work and the LH levels going down.  The reception lady said that my blood work is slightly different than normal, but that the Dr. reviewed it and believes I am surging.  He also said we should do a little BD tonight too :) 

So here we go.  Now I have a client coming in 10 minutes and I really don't know how I'm going to focus, but I'll try.  Don't know what to do with myself tonight as I'm way too filled with excitement.  Any tips/suggestions??? 

Impatience!

Oh man it sucks to have to wait for blood results.  Especially (as I thought this morning) when a single result could determine a life-changing event.  If/when my LH surges, we will go for an IUI.  If successful, an IUI will bring us a baby.  That is a life changing event.  And it all rides on a single blood results.

Which is why, right now, I am freaking out.  I just called the clinic but they were still waiting for my results.  I checked online (have been every half hour all day pretty much) and the results were there.  However, my LH has dropped!  It is down at 9.5 now!  On Monday, I went for my u/s and it was at 14.4.  The next day was 13.4.  And now it is 9.5.  Does that mean we MISSED THE SURGE?  How is that possible, when the Dr. showed me the follicles on Monday?  Were those extra ones that had not released yet?  Why is my LH dropping?  I don't understand! 

I will be so upset if we miss this chance.  I feel like I've put my life on hold for this one week.  I know I shouldn't do that, but it's hard not to when you want to be monitored and the nearest clinic is 3 HOURS AWAY.  Every day this week, I've been left wondering all day... waiting until 5:00pm to see if I'm going to have to drop everything the next day and make the 3 hour trek.  I was okay with that.  But now, if it is not to happen... I will be majorly pissed off! 

So here I sit, waiting for their phone call.  I have a client to see in about 20 minutes.  Good luck!