Well, my old friend AF came to stay. :( Not much more to say about that. Right after I finished ranting the other day she showed up. I hoped it was maybe just light bleeding (maybe implantation?), but it was not. Sigh. I'm not overly heartbroken, just feeling like if this does not work, I don't know what will. The doctors say everything should be fine. I am in prime health condition. So why does it not work?
I don't want to be bitter, but I don't want to have to act like everything is okay when it's not. We're leaving on holidays tomorrow. We're visiting DH's parents and the place we used to live. I don't want to see any of my old friends. I don't want to pretend like it all is good. Even the ones that I can be honest with - I just don't want to. And I don't want any damn person asking me when we're going to start a family. I might just punch out the next person who says that. I just want to be left alone. Or possibly consoled by someone who understands. I'm very excited that the first 4 nights of our vacation are just hubby and me. I don't want to do anything. Don't want to talk if I don't feel like it. Want to sleep whenever I want. I just want to be.
We just found out that DH may be taking more responsibility with his job soon as his "boss" is taking a leave of absence. This is good, but I don't want it to cause him more stress. I just hoped we would have all "this" figured out before he took on more. Oh well. Trust the process. Maybe somewhere in the midst of this all, God has a plan? That's definitely more of a question than a statement.
So I will be out of touch for a few days here, relaxing, refreshing, and hopefully enjoying life a bit more.
No comments:
Post a Comment