Intimacy in Pregnancy

I've been thinking a bit about intimacy during pregnancy after infertility.  Previously, I touched on the subject of sex after infertility.  This is a little bit different. (Be prepared for some full disclosure here...).  Also, this is a bit of a gushy post about the hopes and joys of being pregnant, so if you're not in a place to read something like this, please skip it for now.

I had a conversation with DH yesterday because I was feeling upset that we haven't had sex much during this pregnancy.  At the beginning we were worried and didn't want to "disturb" anything that was going on in there (I know, it's all psychological).  Then I was uncomfortable and felt nauseous most of the time...  not in the mood.  Then I was away for 3 weeks.  Since I've been back though, something has shifted.  We just don't feel like doing it.  For both of us, the desire is just not there.  Naturally, this worried me.  I asked DH if it was because my body was changing (which I knew was not his reason).  He replied no (and that pregnancy suits me and I am cute as a button).  I asked if he was scared, because that is something you commonly hear from men.  He said a little bit, but that wasn't it either.  Then he said something that just melted my heart.  He said to me, "We've been trying for this for so long.  Can't we just enjoy the time we have now and not worry about what we should, or should not be doing?  These babies are so precious to me.  I just want to focus my attention on them."

Wow! What a guy, hey?

As I thought about it more, I came to a realization.  Rather than our intimacy being directed towards one another, we are starting to pour out that love to our little babies.  Our most intimate moments now consist of choosing which facial features of each others we hope our children will have, of planning how we will decorate the special space we will live together in, of talking and dreaming of future holidays and activities we will do as a family.  We've really just added in two little life beings into our intimate relationship.  I think that is the way family is.  It doesn't leave either of us out in the dust... it takes all the love and affection we have for one another and multiplies it as more are brought in.  I guess I realized I don't have to be jealous for DH's affection, or be worried that our intimacy will diminish.  I think this allows us to grow our intimacy in a different way than we have yet experienced.  I am excited for that (though it's not too much to hope that the libido picks up a little bit now that we're in the second trimester...wink wink!).