Inadvertent sleep training

Well, I think we have begun the task of sleep training these twin babies.  We didn't actually mean to start this early (they're not even 3 months!), but I think we reached a point where we just couldn't help it.  After my mother-in-law left, we had my parents or friends around who came by each night to cover a few hours watching the boys so we could sleep.  Over Christmas, however, we had other family in town, and schedules changed and we couldn't receive as much help.  We quickly realized that handling the boys with just the two of us (my husband and I) overnight was a gong show!  The boys were still eating every 2-3 hours all through the night.  They were on such a strict schedule that they never slept longer than 3 hours from the start of their previous feed.  We weren't getting any sleep (well, 3-4 hours total), were increasingly frustrated, and zombies the next day.  Something had to change! 

I still have not researched too many official sleep training techniques, but I thought I would document what we are doing right now.  As I read more about sleep training, I am finding that we are incorporating bits and pieces, which so far are helping a lot!  Right now it's all about survival, and this is what works for us.

First, on Christmas night we realized the importance of naps and proper feeds throughout the day.  The boys received so many cuddles and slept the whole day in people's arms, skipping a few feeds.  That night, they did NOT want to sleep in their cribs, cried and wanted to be held, and ate sooo frequently.  So, we quickly decided that naps need to happen not in the adoring arms of those who love them.  We still get lots of snuggles in, and our little guy is a bit more needy right now so we bend the rules for him, but we try to make sure they have time sleeping solo for each nap/sleep.

Second, we differentiate daytime sleep from night.  In the day, they have been sleeping in their bassinets in a twin pack-n-play out in the living room.  This allows them to receive daytime light, and be around the sounds of the home.  The downside is that they wake each other up more and it's not as cuddly/cozy as their nursery.  Sometimes we do split them up and put one in the nursery, or in the swing in the living room.  At night, they sleep in their cribs (we never even started with rock-n-plays, so this is all they have known), and sometimes spend time with me in bed (more on that later).  The crib is dimly lit so we can see them without turning on a light, and it is warm and cozy.

Third, we are trying to put them down to sleep while they are still awake, but drowsy.  This will help them learn to fall asleep on their own, rather than relying on rocking, swinging, or being in someone's arms. 

Fourth, when they do fuss or wake up early, we try to soothe them without them fully waking up.  Sometimes this involves just putting in the soother (one boy loves to fall asleep with the soother, the other one not so much), sometimes it is picking up to burp (they tend to keep gas in their bellies and wake up in pain), and sometimes it is rocking till they start to close their eyes again.  Still, sometimes they wake up too much and either stay awake till their next feed, or need a "top-up" of milk to fall asleep again.  I'm not sure if this is right or now, but for now it works. 

Fifth, we bumped their bedtime up earlier and are attempting a new night schedule.  Until now, we were bathing them every second day and baths were happening too late (9-10pm).  Today we decided to do baths every night (they sleep way better after a bath), bathe them one feed earlier (around 6pm) and have them in bed by 7pm.  The hope is that they will get used to this as their bedtime, and then receive a 10pm "dream feed."  After this, I hope they will start to sleep through till morning with only one feed around 2-3am.  Currently, they are still eating at 1am, 4am and 7am, though we had one night this week where one of them slept for 6 hours and one for 5, which resulted in one less feed.  I really hope we can find a way for that trend to continue! 

When hubby and I are on our own through, we are attempting to each take a 4-hour shift (10-2 and 2-6) and feed the babies ourselves during that time (so that the other person can get a chunk of sleep).  We are still having one person "on shift" with them all the time, either sleeping in the nursery, or staying up in case they fuss.  I think we can soon just transition to sleeping in our room with the monitor (just not quite yet... they are still too little!).  Just this week the boys have each developed their own schedule and it kind of works better for them not to eat at the same time through the night.  It makes feeds longer, but it is easier for one person to handle.  In the day time, we keep them fairly close to the same time so that sometimes I can tandem feed them.  I usually take the 2-6 shift and find that by 5-6am the boys are starting to rouse for the day.  Sometimes I take them into bed with me so that I can feed them laying down and then we can doze a bit longer.  Often they hold out till 8 or 9am. 

So, that's where we are at now. I'll update again soon to let you know how it's going. I know the boys are still young so I am trying not to have high hopes for this, but it sure would be nice to catch a few more zzz's and feel human again.