Update on ME!

Hey ya'll,

I haven't updated on how I'm doing for a while, so here goes.

Physical
Today I went for my first run since I became pregnant!  It was so nice.  And so difficult!  I ran for about 30 minutes, with a couple stops in-between (to pick up dog poop).  It was a slow jog, not because my lungs couldn't handle it, but because my pelvic floor is out of shape.  I felt the pains of post-pregnancy afresh, and realized that it still will be a while till that area is back up to snuff.  Still, I was pretty happy.  I am looking forward to actually having sore muscles tomorrow!  I have really been craving exercise lately.  I am 3 months post-birth, and still have a long way to go in my weight loss goals.  Most of the weight is in my hips and belly, though all around I am thicker than I was previously.  I'm still only 15-20 lbs down from pregnancy so I have another 15-20 to go to pre-pregnancy, and then another 10 to my goal.  Whew, that sounds overwhelming!  I'm not in a huge rush, though.  I don't expect to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight for at least 6 months to a year.  I will focus on the rest later.

My plan is to try to jog twice a week, if I can get away from the babies!  The other days I will try to take them for a walk, when it's not too cold, and/or do yoga or strength exercises at home.  I'd love to start to incorporate some form of exercise every day again.  Once the babies are a bit bigger I will feel better leaving them for a class or longer workout.

Also I need to work on my eating habits.  I am eating mostly healthy meals, but my snacks are not that great.  I still am eating way too much sugar too.  I'd like to cut out as much sugar as I can, apart from my morning dose in my coffee and a bit of dark chocolate in the afternoon/evening (I never craved chocolate as much as I do since I started breastfeeding...crazy?).  So now that it's been said, I'm accountable, right?  Once I stop breastfeeding, or the boys start solids I may look at Weight Watchers, but I don't want to focus on limiting food right now since it is so important for my milk supply.

Emotional
Let me remember what I was going to say here.  Overall, I think I am doing very well.  Now that the boys have a bit more of a routine, and I am getting some sleep (5-6 hours on average), I am much more functional!  It really has helped me to get out of the house with the boys.  Not only is it a huge sense of accomplishment, but it helps keep me sane.  I have started to become more social again too.  DH and I even went out to a party in the evening with the boys the other night!  We haven't done an evening outing since they were born (apart from a Christmas banquet).


I am still processing a lot of my feelings surrounding their birth and our experience with infertility.  Lately I have a lot of emotions about it all.  As I treasure the moments I have with them as they grow (so quickly!), I still grieve, not knowing if I will ever experience this again.  I have a lot of anger about all that we had to go through and I still feel bitterness towards those who obtain it so easily.  It's not at the forefront of my mind anymore (I just don't have time for it), but it is still there.

Intellectual
As if I have the time to think about my intellectual mind... but still I am.  I know I need to keep my mind working so as to not be completely overtaken by baby brain.  Lately I have been thinking about how I really do want to have a bit of an understanding of the Korean language, especially if we want our boys to learn it.  I'm looking for someone here who could teach me.  I'm so fortunate not to have to go back to work yet, so I do need to find ways to keep my mind adult-oriented. 

Relationally

As I mentioned before, I am feeling more social again. I have had a few friends over lately and I also have connected with some local twin moms.  

DH and I have been talking about ways we can make our relationship more than just caretakers of these babies, though it really is hard, especially with where they are at right now. We barely even have time to ask each other about our days once he is home. Now that they are hopefully sleeping more we can have more time together after they go to bed.  I think it is really important to keep our relationship at the forefront, both for their development and for us.  I'm not quite sure how to do that, but it will remain a goal for the next few months.

So, there is a bit of where I am at 3-months post-partum.