Ugh... quite a frustrating day over here.
Just to vent it out quickly, the boys were diagnosed with mild thrush two weeks ago at the doctor's appointment. We have been treating it, but didn't really notice a difference. Well, this week RJ has been a very fussy eater, and in the past 24 hours, has nearly completely stopped taking the breast. Sometimes he will start, but only last 3 or 4 minutes and then won't go back. Other times he just screams bloody murder as soon as he sees the breast! We have no idea where it is coming from, but are guessing that the thrush may be the culprit right now. He is taking bottles fine so we have to do that to get him to eat at the moment. It is so frustrating and sad!
So, the first step is to aggressively treat the thrush again (this time with gentian violet - the messy purple stuff), and put me on a sugar/wheat fast (well, not all wheat but I will cut down my consumption where I can). Then I will likely need to spend one or two days depriving him of all artificial nipples and doing as much as I can to coax him back to breast (bathe with him, wear him in a sling, play with him with no clothes on, cuddle in bed). It's not that I mind... it's just a lot of time and effort when there is ANOTHER baby to care for as well. I'm sure we will get through it, but it is not going to be easy.
Mostly, though, this has just broken my heart. I didn't realize how special the breastfeeding is to me. I'm not trying to make this about "me"... of course the health and welfare of my child is first and foremost... but I can't bear the thought of not breastfeeding him at this point in time. Even thinking about it led me to quite an emotional meltdown today. With all the things my body has failed at doing, I am good at making milk. My full-time job, as I call it, right now is to make milk and feed and care for these boys. I love doing it, and I think it has been a healing agent after all I have been through. Some of my most precious times with RJ have been when he was breastfeeding. I will do whatever it takes to get it back.
So please, if you've gone through a nursing strike or anything like this, help me out! Or just send me some encouragement because I really need it today.
P.S. I am SOOOO addicted to sugar right now... I don't know what I'm going to do!
No idea if this is the same thing but...
ReplyDeleteAt about 8 weeks daughter would scream bloody murder when I would try to feed her. Sometimes she would latch only to pull off like my milk had burned her.
I spent a lot of time googling & trying different things but this finally worked: whenever she would cry at the breast I would switch sides. Many times basically just like playing hot potato -very quickly. Eventually she would latch well & feed longer & longer.
I think the constant switching & stimulation increased my supply, which she needed at the time.
I too was addicted to sugar and chocolate and protein! I would sneak out of bed and eat Oreos in the middle of the night. Completely normal I found out later. I felt so shameful about my secret binges!! And boy binge I did!
ReplyDeleteEver had a nursing strike at 8 months with her ear infection. I fed her bottles for a week ad thought it was over, but when things settled down, we tried again and it has been fine ever since. Go ahead and give him bottles until he is better and happier, then make sure the area is quiet calm and distraction free ad don't push it but offer it ad take his lead. He'll be back, but something is painful and he knows best. If u see a doc have his ears checked too. The sucking pressure is painful when their ears are clogged or infected.
My heart goes out to you. Thrush is an absolute terror and takes quite a bit to treat. I think focusing on bottle feeding until it clears up is wise, as it will save you a lot of trauma. Once it does clear, try reintroducing the breast. I agree with Lanie's plan and suggestions and hope that it's just a matter of him feeling better.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are not selfish for wanting to breastfeed. Not in the slightest. Breastfeeding has also been very important for me after the whole infertilty and NICU experience. It's helped me heal and move forward. Anyone who pressures you otherwise is an ass. No guilt, just keep up the good work.
Hi - I've been reading your blog for a while from another friend's blog roll. Wanted to offer some encouragement. My little guy went on a nursing strike at 5 weeks. Screamed at the breast, acted like he was in pain, but would take expressed breast milk from the bottle no problem. SO CONFUSING. I spent many days and nights in tears during the strike, because I was also heart broken and feared he may never nurse again. His issue ended up being reflux, and addressing that solved most of our issues. He'll still strike sometimes, but I am much more calm because I know from experience he'll return to the boob eventually! (In fact, he actually went to the other extreme recently and refused bottles. It took a weekend bottle bootcamp to get him to eat from them before I went back to work. He also reverse cycles now, and eats minimally during the day and wants to nurse all night. Rascal! :) )
ReplyDeleteSo, my advice would be continue with the bottles (so he can eat), see if there is an actual issue (there may not be!), keep patiently offering it up, and take comfort that he'll most likely return to nursing. Hang in there!