Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Monday, July 22, 2013

Update: Bedrest and OB Visit

Did I mention how much I LOVE my OB?  Let me say it again, in case I didn't.  My OB ROCKS!  She is just a perfect personality match for me, and I feel so reassured having her around.

This might be a bit of a long post, as am processing a lot right now.  So here's the agenda: bed rest, OB visit (baby update), and emotions.

I successfully completed 6 days of bed rest.  The time actually flew by.  Partially it was because we had a house full of people, and partially was because I was so incredibly tired!  I just slept most of it away.  Our good friends P&J were visiting this past week.  They were busy doing their own thing a lot of the time, but it was reassuring having close friends around, and they pitched in to help with cooking and cleaning.  Then, when my brother-in-law heard the news, he and his wife decided to come for the weekend to help out.  That was slightly overwhelming at first (8 people in the house), but they were super helpful and cooked all the meals, did all the clean-up, mowed our lawn, and helped with housework.  The time just flew by while I was waited on and taken care of.  Even when they all went out to our town's Market Days, they brought me back the cutest gift for the babies.

Handmade baby rattles!

Today everyone left, and I felt a sigh of relief.  It's just nice having your house back to yourself. 

My OB came back from holidays today and I was lucky enough to get in to see her.  Oh, I forgot to mention that I haven't seen any "fresh" blood since the scare on Thursdays.  I had a bit of light bleeding and spotting, but it was mostly cleared up by Saturday.  My OB confirmed that I have a hematoma (also called subchorionic hematoma, or SCH, from what I have read online), but it actually measures 5cm, which is not that small.  She hopes that I have bled most of it out and that it won't cause any further problems.  She did schedule me for a follow-up ultrasound next week to check on the hematoma, and also check the babies growth.  Oh, and the hematoma was blocking the view of Baby A's placenta, so it was hard to tell if it was connected to the succenturiate lobe or not (I know, so much medical jargon).  She said the hematoma, itself, is not dangerous, but puts me at greater risk for pre-term labour (which I am already at risk for with a multiples birth) and pre-term premature rupture of membranes (PPROM), where the placenta detaches from the uterus wall.  Which means, it still is a concern.

So... we talked about what this all means.  Basically I'm not free from bed-rest, but I guess I am going on a sort of modified bed rest.  I still have to limit my activity level extremely (no lifting, no exerting energy, no heavy cleaning, no walking, no sex, etc.), but she is willing to let me go back to work IF I feel I can handle it.  We talked about this a bit, and both agreed that I should cut back on my counselling job sooner, rather than later.  This is because though it is not physically exhausting, it is emotionally draining, and I give a lot of myself during sessions.  I was actually very relieved to hear this, because I was finding that counselling was becoming harder to do.  She said she thought that my office job in August sounded alright, but that as soon as I get enough hours for maternity leave, I should wind down work.  Wow!  I'm not even 23 weeks!

Then she talked a lot about stress and worry, and how important it was for me to keep these to a minimum.  I hadn't realized how much anxiety I had been feeling, but it definitely shone through in my appointment.  There is something about having a safe place that shows you what you have been holding in.  She agreed that I need to be doing something rather than staying indoors at home all the time, because that will just make me depressed.  But she also thinks I need to guard my energy and emotional resources as much as I can.  She suggested I find a creative outlet as a way to let out stress, that I take a book to the park or beach and relax there, and that if I need to get out to a mall or shopping, to get someone to push me in a wheelchair, haha!

I hadn't realized it, but this experience has probably affected more emotionally than I even realize right now.  Resigning myself to modified bed rest for, likely, the rest of my pregnancy, is a big thing too.  As much as it feels good to be told to relax, and I am more than happy to do what I have to for these babies, I am a "doer" at heart.  Stopping work early brings on worries of finances too.  I do have faith that things will all work out, but it is an adjustment to my mindset right now. 

So, that is where I am at right now.  I guess I need more time to process all of these changes.  I was planning to go into work tomorrow, but DH convinced me not to.  He is coming at this from much more of a protective side (which is great), and reasons that I only stopped bleeding on Saturday, and need to give my body more time.  I think I will call work (counselling office) tomorrow and speak to them about what is going on as I try to decide how to wind down.  My u/s will be scheduled in 7-10 days, and my OB wants to see me again next week.  So, that's all for now!  (Also I will try update my bump pics).  Thanks for listening/reading!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Storm's a breakin'

To say that this week hasn't been the best is an understatement...

Fortunately, the storm broke yesterday and hopefully it's sunny skies from here.

DH is stressed out of his mind!  I didn't fully catch on until yesterday, but I was annoyed with him ALL WEEK for being so difficult.  I felt like I was running around doing everything, the only person thinking of things like what we were going to eat, and what to do with the dog... important things.  I felt like all he did was sleep, watch TV, and play guitar.  And that WAS all he did.  He barely talked to me, he didn't come to bed at night (fell asleep on the couch or stayed up on the computer), and he didn't listen to anything I asked him to do.  I felt like he hated me all week.  


Last night we had the blowout fight (which always comes after he's been brewing) and he admitted that it was all from stress.  It wasn't really a fight between us... it was more a breakdown on his part.  His breakdowns are just so darn difficult to endure.  He's stressed about so many things and can't even pinpoint what is making him feel so down.  He is stressed about the economy, about his job right now, about the church, about us having a baby (and not being able to afford it because of the economy and his job), about his parents, about.... the list goes on and on!  And unlike me, he's not at all willing to talk to ANYBODY about it (besides me!).  He may talk to one person about a portion, and another about a little bit more, but he's not able to get the whole thing out there for someone else to know ALL that is going on with him.  And that frustrates me to no end.  


So, I get to live with a grumpy, depressed, closed-down, boy who will barely talk to me about what is going on, leave his dishes and clothes all around, and is generally no fun to be around right now.


Oh please let this stage pass quickly!


(Sorry if this is too much of a bashing email.  I do hate complaining about my man because I honestly love him SO SO SO MUCH, but I really, really just needed somewhere to let it out today.  Anyways, it's not as much about him, as it is about me dealing with what is going on right now.  All I want to do is enjoy the sunshine this weekend...and enjoy a weekend after working 12 days straight!)