Surviving the holidays!

Well, we've made it through the first stage of the holiday season - Thanksgiving (though ours in Canada has been long over).  Recently I was inspired by this post at Stirrup Queens, regarding how to get through the holidays when you don't feel like celebrating.  It's a good read, so check it out.

As for me, lately I find myself wavering between dread and excitement as we approach Christmas.  I'll begin by saying that I LOVE Christmas!  I always have and probably always will.  I think that it mostly has to do with loving anything nostalgic.  Christmas is the epitome of nostalgia for me.  I have such fond memories of being a child at Christmas time.  The traditions, the lights, the presents, the good cheer, the celebration of the birth of Jesus!  I can't avoid getting excited about these things even now, as an adult.  The trouble is, I appreciate all those things so much, and I SO WANT to share those memories with my children.  As each Christmas season has passed by, I have become more and more sad that we do not have a family to pass these traditions on to.  My hubby doesn't care too much for Christmas - for him it brings up memories of family fights - but I had hoped to change his viewpoint by bringing the magic alive to our kids.  Without kids, that won't happen.

Side note: I also always find a way to imagine magically becoming pregnant right around the holidays, and how we would excitedly break the news to our families while exchanging gifts.  I think that is my strongest infertility fantasy!  Even this month, I looked for "signs" of pregnancy and started wishing once again... only to have those hopes dashed when I started spotting today.

For me, Christmas is not just about surviving the work parties and the Christmas events for kids.  It's a mourning of a dream that I had to share the magic with my own family.  I know the dream is not gone forever, but Christmas reminds me of what we do not have more than anything.

So, what are my tips on how to survive if you're feeling the same way as me?

1. Be kind to yourself.  Really!  If you don't want to go out to a party or get-together, don't!  Your friends and family are adults and they will get over it if you don't come.

2. Try to keep the hope alive by embracing the traditions you love.  DH and I purchased our Christmas tree on Friday.  The farm wasn't even officially open yet, but they had trees so we knocked on the door and asked if we could buy one.  Our family always had a rule that Christmas decorations couldn't come out until Dec. 1st.  Screw the rules!  I wanted to feel better and decorating for Christmas makes me feel better.  At least our home can be cozy and special, even if we don't feel like celebrating largely with others.

3. Treats and drinks!  We are doing a bit of a healthy eating cleanse this month before Christmas, but I will have no hesitance at indulging once the break begins.  Also we have stocked up on our rum, gin and Bailey's.  We are not at all big drinkers/party people, but I find I can get through some difficult days if I have something to look forward to, like an Eggnog and Rum, or Bailey's and hot chocolate at the end of the day.

4. Have some fun!  There really is no time like Christmas to do some activities that really are pure fun!  Go ice skating or tobogganing.  Head out on an afternoon snowshoe in fresh falling snow.  Cuddle up with popcorn and a movie by the fire.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen.  Have friends over for drinks, just because!  Bake some festive cookies with a friend.  Build a snowman.  But a sexy new piece of lingerie and spice up the bedroom one evening.  There are so many wonderful things to do that only can be done in winter.  Make the most of it!

5. Remember that "Jesus IS the reason for the Season."  Okay, I know that sounds super cheesy, and that most of you are not Christian; however!  I do think we lose sight of what the holiday really is about and it helps to refocus on something outside of ourselves at times like this.  Go to a Nativity play, read the Christmas story, or just watch Charlie Brown.  A slight change in perspective can go a long way.

6. I also really like Stirrup Queens idea about writing a note to yourself to carry in your pocket or wallet for those really hard events to attend.  A quick trip to the bathroom and letting yourself have a few tears may be just the remedy!

7. Find ways to connect with your spouse or partner.  As hard as it is, and as sad as you may be, cling closely to the one you love.  This time is hard for them too.  Find a way to build new traditions together - just the two of you.  DH and I started a tradition with friends a few years ago of going for a night snowshoe on New Year's Eve and then back to one of our homes for champagne and fondue.  We have carried that on and it is so much fun!  Whatever brings you together - find a way to make it happen and make that your priority over the season.

How about you?  What are your tips on surviving through the ups and downs of the holiday season???