I feel like I haven't blogged about anything "real" in a long time. What I mean by "real" is my own personal thoughts and feelings. Yet lately this blog land space has been on my mind. I miss it.
I've also had a lot of thoughts regarding infertility on my mind again. So here we go.
Is it just me, or are a lot of people in the blogosphere finding themselves suddenly pregnant after pregnancy after infertility? Maybe it's just the friends who I follow on here, but it seems to be a common theme. That, or the decision to TTC for a second time. And that's where I find myself. No, not pregnant, but trying to decide whether to TTC again.
Our boys are nearly 16 months old. Which, if we suddenly found ourselves pregnant, would give us a new baby right after the twins enter their terrible twos. Are we not CRAZY for even considering that? But I can't help it! The thought is suddenly consuming my mind. And I'm trying to figure out why it all of a sudden is so important to me.
Part of my brain has this notion that I can "trick" my body into getting pregnant easily again if I just try right away. I only recently got my period back (sort of), and maybe I can suddenly get pregnant before my body realizes it is infertile. Does that sound crazy? I know I have heard others who feel the same way. And I have seen it work! So in a way, I feel like the pressure is on and I need to get on this fast before I lose my chance...
It may also be that the boys are definitely NOT babies anymore. We have full-on toddlers in the house. Which is wonderful, and fun, and exciting, and exhausting! But I miss my babies. And I feel like I want to experience all those beautiful baby stages again... this time not in shock and not while recovering from a fairly traumatic pregnancy/birth experience.
That is part of it too. I can't help but want a normal pregnancy/birth experience. I definitely feel like carrying twins, plus being on bed rest, plus having tons of bleeding/pregnancy complications, plus the NICU, plus post-partum hemorrhage was NOT the normal experience. It's not that I'm ungrateful for my experience, but I just wonder what it would be like to experience a pregnancy without all the complications... or has infertility and my trauma ruined me of that?
I also think that if we do have a third child, I want him/her to be close in age to the boys, so that he/she is not a third wheel and left out all the time. I feel like a child closer in age would allow them to break out of their "twinship" and befriend the other sibling more. I don't know if we would go for a fourth, so that may be all we have.
I don't even know for sure if we want a third child. We are a pretty happy family as it is. I just can't stop thinking of trying for another one...
There will be no surprises for a while, as I still have the IUD. We jumped on the birth control wagon as soon as we could since we really didn't want a surprise right away. The shock of parenting newborn twins just scared us too much! I'm back on a waitlist to see my OB and have the IUD removed, so this isn't going to happen anytime too soon. I'm really just trying to figure out if it is what I want.
Okay, I know it is what I want. I'm just trying to figure out if the reasons for me wanting it are rational and reasonable.
So there you have it. Oh, and can I just say that infertility definitely has changed sex for us forever (or at least it seems so!). Yes, there are still those spontaneous, fun, enjoyable times... but how bad is it that when I go to the bathroom and see some ripe CM sitting there, my first thought is, "WE NEED TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW!" before realizing that I'm on birth control and not even capable of getting pregnant. Yet it was like an uncontrollable urge! I'm pretty sure that's not exactly how sex was designed to be.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2015
Thursday, August 22, 2013
27 Weeks
Not much has really changed from last week so I thought I'd add some different thoughts on things.
Mood: As mentioned yesterday, meltdowns and anxiety marks this week. Overall, though, it's really not that bad.
Food: I thought I'd quickly share what a typical day's food looks like for me. I don't think I've increased or decreased my food intake much throughout this pregnancy. I was most hungry at the very beginning. Now I can't eat as much in one sitting, but I eat frequently throughout the day. So, I think it all works out.
8:00 - Breakfast: Bowl of porridge and piece of toast with peanut butter (On the weekend we often eat later and make a larger brunch of eggs and bacon); Prenatal
10:00 - Morning snack: Crackers and cheese or peanut butter; Coffee; Piece of fruit
12:00 - Lunch: Bagel with cream cheese and cucumber, Piece of fruit, Cookies
3:30/4:00 - Snack: Granola bar and fruit or taco chips with cheese (sometimes I'm super hungry and eat a mini meal)
6:00 - Dinner: Varies (rice, meat, corn, salad, potatoes)
7:00 - Dessert: My sweet tooth has picked up lately - cookies, or ice cream
10:00 - Before bed snack: Cereal and milk
I do drink a variety of other drinks (mostly juice) throughout the day and tons of water! But overall, I think that is reasonable, right?
Sleep: I feel like I am super fortunate as I read other people's stories about difficulty sleeping at night (knock on wood!). I am sure it will only get worse from here, but I have been sleeping very well. I go to bed at 10:30 and usually wake up once at 1:30am to pee, and then I sleep right through the night till my alarm at 7:30. It's awesome! Some nights it is really hard to get comfortable and I feel like I can't breathe. Last night I slept on the couch so that it could support my back. I am just so glad I'm not up every few hours. I do wake up extremely thirsty and am worried about being dehydrated, but I try to drink a full water bottle after dinner and keep one by my bed that I drink throughout the night. I usually can't last a full day without an hour nap in the afternoon either. So, all-in-all that's about 10 hours sleep a day. On days I don't have to get up early, I can usually get up, pee, eat breakfast, and then go back to bed for a few more hours too. I just love my sleep!
Exercise: I've really been craving more movement. I started doing my yoga twice a day sometimes (since they are only 15 minute videos). I'd love some suggestions on other great gentle prenatal yoga videos available online. The site I use is www.doyogawithme.com. It is awesome, but limited for the prenatal videos.
Body: I decided to start measuring around my belly this week. Right now it is 43 inches! Wow!!! Last I checked I was measuring 34 weeks, so I guess that's about right. I'm staying strong at 180 pounds this week. I think it is also almost time to upgrade bra sizes again. Another thing I haven't talked about much is my good old bowels. I just thought other pregnant ladies might be interested in this, but feel free to skip ahead if you're not. Ever since the beginning of this pregnancy I have diarrhea every single morning! Sometimes 2-3 times! I was worried at first but it has been such a pattern, and I'm not dehydrated, so my doctor isn't worried. I chalk it up to some form of pregnancy IBS. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat. It usually happens first thing before I've eaten anything (and after I drink coffee, but I just can't stop myself). I do feel fortunate that I have not had to deal with the other side of things (constipation). Usually though, I don't have any other BMs throughout the day, so by the end of the day, my tummy is big! Sometimes it's pretty uncomfortable until the next morning when it finally lets go. Oh the joys of pregnancy!
Movement: I think these babies are starting to have some patterns to their movement, which I love! They are definitely most active at night, but there are times throughout the day I feel them moving more. It is my favorite! I read that right about now they start to get hiccups frequently too, so I'll try to decipher what that movement might feel like. I am excited to have our next ultrasound to see what positions they are in. Most of the movement I feel is very central, right around my belly so I can't tell which twin it is.
What I miss:
Going for walks, drinking wine, working out, drinking lots of coffee (and not having it make me feel sick), bending over, um, baby dancing?!
What I look forward to: Morning cuddles in bed with the babies, breastfeeding (I'm super curious to see how this all works), going for LONG walks with the twins and the dog (hopefully our winter is not too wet), enjoying coffee again, and, um, baby dancing!
Mood: As mentioned yesterday, meltdowns and anxiety marks this week. Overall, though, it's really not that bad.
Food: I thought I'd quickly share what a typical day's food looks like for me. I don't think I've increased or decreased my food intake much throughout this pregnancy. I was most hungry at the very beginning. Now I can't eat as much in one sitting, but I eat frequently throughout the day. So, I think it all works out.
8:00 - Breakfast: Bowl of porridge and piece of toast with peanut butter (On the weekend we often eat later and make a larger brunch of eggs and bacon); Prenatal
10:00 - Morning snack: Crackers and cheese or peanut butter; Coffee; Piece of fruit
12:00 - Lunch: Bagel with cream cheese and cucumber, Piece of fruit, Cookies
3:30/4:00 - Snack: Granola bar and fruit or taco chips with cheese (sometimes I'm super hungry and eat a mini meal)
6:00 - Dinner: Varies (rice, meat, corn, salad, potatoes)
7:00 - Dessert: My sweet tooth has picked up lately - cookies, or ice cream
10:00 - Before bed snack: Cereal and milk
I do drink a variety of other drinks (mostly juice) throughout the day and tons of water! But overall, I think that is reasonable, right?
Sleep: I feel like I am super fortunate as I read other people's stories about difficulty sleeping at night (knock on wood!). I am sure it will only get worse from here, but I have been sleeping very well. I go to bed at 10:30 and usually wake up once at 1:30am to pee, and then I sleep right through the night till my alarm at 7:30. It's awesome! Some nights it is really hard to get comfortable and I feel like I can't breathe. Last night I slept on the couch so that it could support my back. I am just so glad I'm not up every few hours. I do wake up extremely thirsty and am worried about being dehydrated, but I try to drink a full water bottle after dinner and keep one by my bed that I drink throughout the night. I usually can't last a full day without an hour nap in the afternoon either. So, all-in-all that's about 10 hours sleep a day. On days I don't have to get up early, I can usually get up, pee, eat breakfast, and then go back to bed for a few more hours too. I just love my sleep!
Exercise: I've really been craving more movement. I started doing my yoga twice a day sometimes (since they are only 15 minute videos). I'd love some suggestions on other great gentle prenatal yoga videos available online. The site I use is www.doyogawithme.com. It is awesome, but limited for the prenatal videos.
Body: I decided to start measuring around my belly this week. Right now it is 43 inches! Wow!!! Last I checked I was measuring 34 weeks, so I guess that's about right. I'm staying strong at 180 pounds this week. I think it is also almost time to upgrade bra sizes again. Another thing I haven't talked about much is my good old bowels. I just thought other pregnant ladies might be interested in this, but feel free to skip ahead if you're not. Ever since the beginning of this pregnancy I have diarrhea every single morning! Sometimes 2-3 times! I was worried at first but it has been such a pattern, and I'm not dehydrated, so my doctor isn't worried. I chalk it up to some form of pregnancy IBS. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat. It usually happens first thing before I've eaten anything (and after I drink coffee, but I just can't stop myself). I do feel fortunate that I have not had to deal with the other side of things (constipation). Usually though, I don't have any other BMs throughout the day, so by the end of the day, my tummy is big! Sometimes it's pretty uncomfortable until the next morning when it finally lets go. Oh the joys of pregnancy!
Movement: I think these babies are starting to have some patterns to their movement, which I love! They are definitely most active at night, but there are times throughout the day I feel them moving more. It is my favorite! I read that right about now they start to get hiccups frequently too, so I'll try to decipher what that movement might feel like. I am excited to have our next ultrasound to see what positions they are in. Most of the movement I feel is very central, right around my belly so I can't tell which twin it is.
What I miss:
Going for walks, drinking wine, working out, drinking lots of coffee (and not having it make me feel sick), bending over, um, baby dancing?!
What I look forward to: Morning cuddles in bed with the babies, breastfeeding (I'm super curious to see how this all works), going for LONG walks with the twins and the dog (hopefully our winter is not too wet), enjoying coffee again, and, um, baby dancing!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Prenatal blahs
I struggled with what to name this post. My first thought was "Pregnancy Blues" but that doesn't fully describe what I want to share.
Let me first start off by saying that I do love being pregnant. While it has been an adjustment to my personality, I am enjoying taking it easier and watching my belly grow. Even when I don't realize it, my mind is consumed with making sure these babies are as healthy and safe as they can be. Yet through most of my pregnancy, I've had this underlying sense of "blah." I've written before about how I just don't enjoy some things in life as much as I used to. My last post mentioned how those who are pregnant after infertility (and in particular carrying twins) are more at risk for post-partum depression. While I don't feel like I am depressed (I'm not crying all the time, I have energy to get things done, I am eating and sleeping fine), I do feel this sense of blah. At first I thought it was just the way the pregnancy hormones are affecting me, but now that it has carried into the second trimester, I'm wondering more about it.
My suspicion is that this is related to our struggle with infertility in some way. I don't think it's that I had high expectations about how great it would be to be pregnant. Actually, I feel like I've been pretty lucky in that regard, so far. I'm sleeping great at night. My body is healthy and growing right on track (besides the annoyance of an irritable uterus). I barely have morning sickness. My aches and pains haven't started (yet). I really have nothing to complain about.
One thing I have noticed this last week, is how I am handling the attention of being pregnant. My pregnancy cannot be hidden any longer. Multiple people in a day ask me when I'm due. This week 3 people asked if I was having a summer/September baby (I'm not due till November)! And in the moment when I am talking to people, I feel good. I respond enthusiastically. I feel excited. Sometimes I mention our fertility treatments, but mostly not. And yet, at the end of the day when I relive these conversations, I sometimes feel like a fake. I feel like I need to show people the pain and difficulty that is mingled in with the joy. While I am embracing this pregnancy, underneath it all still exists the memory of all the pain and loss that we experienced. How can these two things co-exist?
Cristy, over at Searching for Our Silver Lining, just wrote a great post entitled "Straddling Worlds" that speaks of this dilemma as it relates to fellow infertile friends. The other day I ran into a girl I met last summer who was just visiting this area. As I excitedly announced my pregnancy, I saw her exchange a look with her husband, and something in her eyes struck me. She congratulated me, but instantly I knew. I later received an email from her describing that she recently had a miscarriage. While I know that I did nothing wrong in sharing my news, everything in me wanted to scream out to her, "I understand! Please don't write me off as just another pregnant lady... please see my pain amidst my joy!"
I don't really know how to reconcile these conflicting emotions. I suppose they just need to "be." I'd love to seek out a counsellor for DH and I to visit as we transition from infertiles to parents of twins. Anyways, I just thought I'd share in case others find themselves going through something similar. You can know that you're not alone!
Let me first start off by saying that I do love being pregnant. While it has been an adjustment to my personality, I am enjoying taking it easier and watching my belly grow. Even when I don't realize it, my mind is consumed with making sure these babies are as healthy and safe as they can be. Yet through most of my pregnancy, I've had this underlying sense of "blah." I've written before about how I just don't enjoy some things in life as much as I used to. My last post mentioned how those who are pregnant after infertility (and in particular carrying twins) are more at risk for post-partum depression. While I don't feel like I am depressed (I'm not crying all the time, I have energy to get things done, I am eating and sleeping fine), I do feel this sense of blah. At first I thought it was just the way the pregnancy hormones are affecting me, but now that it has carried into the second trimester, I'm wondering more about it.
My suspicion is that this is related to our struggle with infertility in some way. I don't think it's that I had high expectations about how great it would be to be pregnant. Actually, I feel like I've been pretty lucky in that regard, so far. I'm sleeping great at night. My body is healthy and growing right on track (besides the annoyance of an irritable uterus). I barely have morning sickness. My aches and pains haven't started (yet). I really have nothing to complain about.
One thing I have noticed this last week, is how I am handling the attention of being pregnant. My pregnancy cannot be hidden any longer. Multiple people in a day ask me when I'm due. This week 3 people asked if I was having a summer/September baby (I'm not due till November)! And in the moment when I am talking to people, I feel good. I respond enthusiastically. I feel excited. Sometimes I mention our fertility treatments, but mostly not. And yet, at the end of the day when I relive these conversations, I sometimes feel like a fake. I feel like I need to show people the pain and difficulty that is mingled in with the joy. While I am embracing this pregnancy, underneath it all still exists the memory of all the pain and loss that we experienced. How can these two things co-exist?
Cristy, over at Searching for Our Silver Lining, just wrote a great post entitled "Straddling Worlds" that speaks of this dilemma as it relates to fellow infertile friends. The other day I ran into a girl I met last summer who was just visiting this area. As I excitedly announced my pregnancy, I saw her exchange a look with her husband, and something in her eyes struck me. She congratulated me, but instantly I knew. I later received an email from her describing that she recently had a miscarriage. While I know that I did nothing wrong in sharing my news, everything in me wanted to scream out to her, "I understand! Please don't write me off as just another pregnant lady... please see my pain amidst my joy!"
I don't really know how to reconcile these conflicting emotions. I suppose they just need to "be." I'd love to seek out a counsellor for DH and I to visit as we transition from infertiles to parents of twins. Anyways, I just thought I'd share in case others find themselves going through something similar. You can know that you're not alone!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Sex, after pregnancy, after infertility
This post is not just about sex... I just thought that was a catchy title.
This post is about the loss of pleasure in all aspects of life I normally enjoy. It's not a depression thing. I've been depressed before and I don't feel that way at all. I just feel like I have an inability to enjoy the things that normally bring me great enjoyment. Sex is one of them.
People always talk about the way that infertility affects your sex life. Well let me tell you, if you're not one of those lucky people whose hormones rage to let you enjoy sex more once you're pregnant, you are out of luck. I seem to be one of those people. At least right now. It started off with a fear and worry of not wanting to "get in the way" of anything that might be going on in there. As much as they say that sex can't affect a baby, it just doesn't seem to be intuitive to mess around in there too much. After the u/s, DH became paranoid and didn't want to disturb things either. And since that time, I have felt fat, nauseaus, grumpy, and plain old not in the mood. Hopefully things will change once we reach the second trimester.
The other thing I have stopped enjoying is food! This seems counter-productive as I am hungry ALL the time! I have moments of feeling ravenous, but once I eat, I don't actually enjoy the food. I have aversions to food, but so far no major cravings. Sometimes I'll have a craving but by the time I get to it, I don't actually care for what I am eating any longer. And this is the one time I have license to eat whatever I want! Haha...ironic!
Other than that, I am going about my daily routine and activities, but not really enjoying things...drinking tea...visiting with friends...walking in the sunshine. I guess I would attribute it to just feeling a bit icky all the time.
Let me say though, I am NOT complaining! I just found this to be an interesting observation about being pregnant. I actually kind of enjoy the license not to enjoy things. There is no pressure and if I don't feel like doing something, I just don't have to! Every day that passes fills me with greater excitement about these little beings growing inside of me. Part of me feels guarded still and is not feeling super attached, and yet I another part of me is longing for the permission to bond with these babies. I think it is a natural process that will unfold in the right time. Tomorrow I am off to the OB... I will update you on how it goes!
This post is about the loss of pleasure in all aspects of life I normally enjoy. It's not a depression thing. I've been depressed before and I don't feel that way at all. I just feel like I have an inability to enjoy the things that normally bring me great enjoyment. Sex is one of them.
People always talk about the way that infertility affects your sex life. Well let me tell you, if you're not one of those lucky people whose hormones rage to let you enjoy sex more once you're pregnant, you are out of luck. I seem to be one of those people. At least right now. It started off with a fear and worry of not wanting to "get in the way" of anything that might be going on in there. As much as they say that sex can't affect a baby, it just doesn't seem to be intuitive to mess around in there too much. After the u/s, DH became paranoid and didn't want to disturb things either. And since that time, I have felt fat, nauseaus, grumpy, and plain old not in the mood. Hopefully things will change once we reach the second trimester.
The other thing I have stopped enjoying is food! This seems counter-productive as I am hungry ALL the time! I have moments of feeling ravenous, but once I eat, I don't actually enjoy the food. I have aversions to food, but so far no major cravings. Sometimes I'll have a craving but by the time I get to it, I don't actually care for what I am eating any longer. And this is the one time I have license to eat whatever I want! Haha...ironic!
Other than that, I am going about my daily routine and activities, but not really enjoying things...drinking tea...visiting with friends...walking in the sunshine. I guess I would attribute it to just feeling a bit icky all the time.
Let me say though, I am NOT complaining! I just found this to be an interesting observation about being pregnant. I actually kind of enjoy the license not to enjoy things. There is no pressure and if I don't feel like doing something, I just don't have to! Every day that passes fills me with greater excitement about these little beings growing inside of me. Part of me feels guarded still and is not feeling super attached, and yet I another part of me is longing for the permission to bond with these babies. I think it is a natural process that will unfold in the right time. Tomorrow I am off to the OB... I will update you on how it goes!
Friday, March 29, 2013
6 Weeks!
*This is a pregnancy post. Feel free to skip over if you're not interested.*
I thought I'd give a little update as I have reached the 6 week mark. 6 week seems sooooo early to me and I feel like I have so far to go still. But here we are. This past week I felt really pregnant for the first time. First of all the nausea kicked in. Not fully nausea but more queasiness... all the time. My stomach felt squishy and I felt kind of ill all week. Most of the time I didn't feel like eating but am making myself eat throughout the day. There were a few times, though, when all of a sudden I was RAVENOUS, and had to eat immediately! Unfortunately, that always happened when I was not at home so I have eaten a bit of fast food this week (For the first time in FOREVER, I actually craved McDonalds...yuck). Also I was tired. Like, really tired. The worst time was in mid-afternoon, usually when I am counselling children. It was rough. The past few nights I have started to go to bed early (9:30/10:00) to see if that helps me have more energy throughout the day. The other problem, though, is insomnia. I am getting up at least once or twice in the night to pee, and sometimes I just can't fall back to sleep. Oh, also my nose has been soooo stuffed at night that I have to sleep with my mouth open and wake up totally dry. DH told me today that I was snoring, which I never do! My excema has flared up like crazy. My boobs have been sore, kind of like they are getting ready to grow. I've had a few cramps/stretching feeling in my uterus. And, I think it's too early for pregnancy brain, but I've already become a basket case! DH found my keys in the trunk of the car the other day. Yesterday I left my tablet at work after telling myself not to forget it as I was leaving. Who knows what will be next? I blame it on the tiredness, right? I haven't been super emotional but there have been a few times where I felt like I just had to cry, for no reason. I haven't been as bloated this week, which is kind of nice, but I still feel like I have to hide my belly so people don't guess. There is an extra bit of pudge around my belly that was going away when I was working out at the gym. By the end of the day I am often pretty bloated too.
So that's where I'm at today. I'm pretty excited to have all these symptoms and having a great time despite feeling icky.
I thought I'd give a little update as I have reached the 6 week mark. 6 week seems sooooo early to me and I feel like I have so far to go still. But here we are. This past week I felt really pregnant for the first time. First of all the nausea kicked in. Not fully nausea but more queasiness... all the time. My stomach felt squishy and I felt kind of ill all week. Most of the time I didn't feel like eating but am making myself eat throughout the day. There were a few times, though, when all of a sudden I was RAVENOUS, and had to eat immediately! Unfortunately, that always happened when I was not at home so I have eaten a bit of fast food this week (For the first time in FOREVER, I actually craved McDonalds...yuck). Also I was tired. Like, really tired. The worst time was in mid-afternoon, usually when I am counselling children. It was rough. The past few nights I have started to go to bed early (9:30/10:00) to see if that helps me have more energy throughout the day. The other problem, though, is insomnia. I am getting up at least once or twice in the night to pee, and sometimes I just can't fall back to sleep. Oh, also my nose has been soooo stuffed at night that I have to sleep with my mouth open and wake up totally dry. DH told me today that I was snoring, which I never do! My excema has flared up like crazy. My boobs have been sore, kind of like they are getting ready to grow. I've had a few cramps/stretching feeling in my uterus. And, I think it's too early for pregnancy brain, but I've already become a basket case! DH found my keys in the trunk of the car the other day. Yesterday I left my tablet at work after telling myself not to forget it as I was leaving. Who knows what will be next? I blame it on the tiredness, right? I haven't been super emotional but there have been a few times where I felt like I just had to cry, for no reason. I haven't been as bloated this week, which is kind of nice, but I still feel like I have to hide my belly so people don't guess. There is an extra bit of pudge around my belly that was going away when I was working out at the gym. By the end of the day I am often pretty bloated too.
So that's where I'm at today. I'm pretty excited to have all these symptoms and having a great time despite feeling icky.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
2WW Symptoms
I just wanted to stop and say thanks to everyone for all the lovely good wishes. I know it's early in the game, but I am feeling pretty secure about things and hoping for the best. I'm sure I will be blogging over the next few weeks until the ultrasound, but after that I hope not to flood this blog with only pregnancy posts (more on that at a later time). For now, I will share things that I think may be helpful for others. I know that when I was in the 2WW I likedto hear what others have gone through. I kept track of "symptoms" just in case it came in handy. If you're interested in looking, here you are.
Here is my chart up until today:
This is what happened during the 2WW:
Cycle Day (CD) 11: Blood work revealed my LH was starting to surge. The doctor called me in for an IUI the next day
CD12: IUI
CD13: no symptoms
CD14: no symptoms
CD15: Acupuncture treatment. That evening I had crazy cramping in my abdomen... to the point where I could not walk. I checked with my TCM and she said it was probably positive movement. I think that was when I was ovulating (as I have had similar pains in the past). As my chart shows, I probably ovulated that day or the day before.
CD16: Slight amount of spotting! I do not usually have this mid-cycle, so that was positive. Also my nipples felt a bit tingly.
CD17: Tired! At night I had heartburn (but we had chili for dinner, which could have contributed) and my nipples were a bit itchy.
CD18: Sore lower back. Felt a bit crampy. Also the next few days had a ton of CM in my underwear (sorry TMI).
CD19: Tired, sore lower back.
CD20: Sore back, heartburn at night
CD21: Had a sore in my mouth, which was unusual. Looked it up and couldn't really find a correlation, but wonder if it was hormone related?
CD22: Tired
CD23: Tired and a bit moody/emotional. Actually I had a big cry, and was sure AF was going to show up in the next few days.
CD24: Couldn't hold out any longer...HPT = BFN! Felt crampy when walking the dog in the morning - kind of pinchy pain and sore lower back (could this be implantation?) Again, emotional and wanted to cry throughout the day. Thought AF must be imminent.
CD25: Sore back, bloated feeling (AF MUST be here tomorrow!)
CD26: Had insomnia through the night (anxiety from testing?). Woke up in the middle of the night with the excema on my hands itching. The only other time I had this symptom was when I was pregnant last time... could it be? Sore back all day (and super full feeling abdomen after dinner). Blood test reveals BFP! Beta= 55.
CD27: BFP on home test!
CD28: Beta = 215
Since then, there haven't been any extremely prominent symptoms, but this weekend I am tired. Oh, and funny story this morning - We were on our way our for brunch and I was feeling kind of grumpy/emotional. I totally cried because I was worried that DH would get upset with me being grumpy and not like me. That made me cry. Can you say pregnancy???? Haha! I've felt a little nauseous and off today, and I hope that continues. :)
Here is my chart up until today:
This is what happened during the 2WW:
Cycle Day (CD) 11: Blood work revealed my LH was starting to surge. The doctor called me in for an IUI the next day
CD12: IUI
CD13: no symptoms
CD14: no symptoms
CD15: Acupuncture treatment. That evening I had crazy cramping in my abdomen... to the point where I could not walk. I checked with my TCM and she said it was probably positive movement. I think that was when I was ovulating (as I have had similar pains in the past). As my chart shows, I probably ovulated that day or the day before.
CD16: Slight amount of spotting! I do not usually have this mid-cycle, so that was positive. Also my nipples felt a bit tingly.
CD17: Tired! At night I had heartburn (but we had chili for dinner, which could have contributed) and my nipples were a bit itchy.
CD18: Sore lower back. Felt a bit crampy. Also the next few days had a ton of CM in my underwear (sorry TMI).
CD19: Tired, sore lower back.
CD20: Sore back, heartburn at night
CD21: Had a sore in my mouth, which was unusual. Looked it up and couldn't really find a correlation, but wonder if it was hormone related?
CD22: Tired
CD23: Tired and a bit moody/emotional. Actually I had a big cry, and was sure AF was going to show up in the next few days.
CD24: Couldn't hold out any longer...HPT = BFN! Felt crampy when walking the dog in the morning - kind of pinchy pain and sore lower back (could this be implantation?) Again, emotional and wanted to cry throughout the day. Thought AF must be imminent.
CD25: Sore back, bloated feeling (AF MUST be here tomorrow!)
CD26: Had insomnia through the night (anxiety from testing?). Woke up in the middle of the night with the excema on my hands itching. The only other time I had this symptom was when I was pregnant last time... could it be? Sore back all day (and super full feeling abdomen after dinner). Blood test reveals BFP! Beta= 55.
CD27: BFP on home test!
CD28: Beta = 215
Since then, there haven't been any extremely prominent symptoms, but this weekend I am tired. Oh, and funny story this morning - We were on our way our for brunch and I was feeling kind of grumpy/emotional. I totally cried because I was worried that DH would get upset with me being grumpy and not like me. That made me cry. Can you say pregnancy???? Haha! I've felt a little nauseous and off today, and I hope that continues. :)
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