A sad day

Today wasn't a great day.  I had myself a good cry tonight and feel better now.

A lady from my work passed away last night from cancer.  I did not know her very well, but I had seen her around and chatted now and then.  I know that others in my office will be hit harder.  Today was a bit weird.  My colleague and I were busy and had lots to do, which was a nice distraction.  Inside, though, I just felt a bit numb yet sad.  

I also found out last night that a close friend lost her first baby in a miscarriage.  I am so sad for her.  I think I might be protecting myself a little though, because I'm not ready to "re-live" what I went through with my miscarriage.  Yet I want to be there for her since she was there for me so much during mine.

Today we had our friends P&J over for dinner.  I don't know if I've mentioned it on this blog, but P&J are moving far away.  In 3 weeks time!  They are our closest friends here, and even though they have a baby now and that has changed our relationship, we still will miss them like crazy.  We don't have any other friends here that kind of "get" what we have gone through.  I don't know what we will do without them.  I haven't allowed myself to think about them leaving, but tonight I did and I realized how sad I really am.

I am excited about moving forward with this next cycle, but there is a bit of sadness tied with it too.  I feel like in moving on, we are putting the past to rest, and that includes our pregnancy and miscarriage. That makes me sad because even though the pregnancy did not come to fruition... it still was the ONLY pregnancy I've ever experienced.  It's a weird thing to move on from.

Well, I will go to bed now, and hope that tomorrow is a better day.