Infertility is exhausting!
- Doctors appointments at various days throughout your cycle (that you can't always plan ahead for since your body doesn't always cooperate)
- Constant monitoring of BBT, cervical mucus, and other bodily functions
- Blood work at the lab
- Driving here, there, and everywhere for all the different appointments (doctor, lab, acupuncture, etc.),
- Baby-dancing whenever the time is "right" (mind you it's fun... but it is tiring too!)
- Crazy fertility drugs that mess with your sleep, weight and mood
- Exercising with what little energy you have to curb the effects of aforementioned crazy drugs
- Cutting down on, or completely out, caffeine in order to increase chances of conceiving
- Thinking, planning, and dreaming of the "what ifs" if this cycle were to magically work
- Exerting energy in disagreements...ahem, discussions... with those beloved partners of ours to make sure we're on the same page every step of the way.
- Tears, tears, and more tears when we feel alone, when we feel lost, when we feel discouraged
- Making up work days for time missed for appointments (the bane of my existence right now)
- Losing sleep over the excitement/anxiety/fear of the next step in treatment
- Trying so hard to just enjoy life "as normal" but finding it's so much more work when all that consumes your mind is infertility...
Can you see what I mean? No wonder my brain feels completely fried and I can't even answer a simple question while I'm peeling potatoes. I am spent. I am done. I am plain old tired! It's not just having to go through the grief and loss of infertility that irks me now. I am getting on with that. Now I'm just pissed off at how much more work it is for us.
This morning I was triggered. My mom did the deed. I was diligently explaining the instructions and when I looked over she had the medications mixed and was all ready to go with the needle. Love it!
Tomorrow is our 2nd IUI. I have 3 follies all ready to go (2 on one side, 1 on the other). We got pregnant the first time. Don't see why this one shouldn't be the same. It's game time!
Hope your IUI went well this morning!! And yes, infertility is VERY exhausting. I can't even tell you how many people have asked me when I'm going to start trying again because they think it's so simple to try. It's not.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Very, very exhausting. I get exhausted just thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck today. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.
Amen to that.
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