I'm feeling rather frustrated today. And flustered. Flustrated it is.
I haven't felt like writing a post for National Infertility Awareness Week, though I want to support it. I haven't really felt like writing a post of my own. I haven't felt like reading blogs, though I have checked up on a few people in the midst of important stuff.
I just wish this miscarriage would get itself over with. I am tired of waiting and wondering when it will be. I don't feel pregnant at all anymore. I fit back into my clothes and my body is starting to look like mine again (minus a bit of a tummy that I think must be due to the contents still in my uterus). I've started exercising well again, though it is leaving me exhausted all the time. I was ready for bed at 9pm last night! Went to bed by 11, woke up at 8 and went to the gym, now I'm ready to go back to bed again (but here I am at work).
I want to call my doctor's office but I don't know what to say. I pretty much know the answers I will get (yes, I've done a ton of googling). They may offer misoprostal, which I don't really want to take unless they would do another ultrasound and confirm again for me that there is no growth. I don't think they will do another u/s at this point. My doctor said it could take 2-4 weeks to miscarry. It's been two. If nothing happens in another two weeks, then they would probably take me back again and do an u/s. For now, they have kind of wiped their hands clean of me. At this point I would consider a D&C, but again I would want to be absolutely SURE that nothing was there. I'm a bit concerned about the risk of uterine scarring, which can have effects on fertility. I don't have any signs of infection at this point in time so a D&C is not necessary. I don't know whether I should ask to have my Hcg levels tested again... I hear they can keep rising even AFTER a miscarriage is over. I have a conference coming up on Monday, and then the following Friday I go to Vancouver for a night for my cousin's wedding. I need this to be over now, or wait until after that wedding!
I don't know what to do! I am panicking, and flustrated, and can hardly focus.
I need some help ladies. What is your advice?
***UPDATE*** Thanks for the initial comments ladies. Keep them coming! I did just call my doctor and left a message with the receptionist about my concerns. She is going to talk to my doctor and call me back at some point today. I really appreciate your support!
I know this isn't what you want, or at least until they have confirmed that their is no longer any growth, but when I took the medication, it started happening within 2 hours. . . I'm so sorry things are taking so long, that has got to be tough. Don't feel bad for not feeling like blogging, you have a lot on your plate. Feel better soon ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI would phone your doctor and say that you're interested in taking the medication, but only if you could have another u/s to confirm that growth has stopped. I think it's worth giving it a try. They may surprise you and agree to it.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry that you're going through this. :(
This is heartbreaking. You're stuck in a terrible limbo, and I am just so sorry. Could you call and ask if they'd do another ultrasound? The worst they could say is no. I'd explain everything you did here, and maybe they'll understand that while you want to help things along you need to know for sure. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI think I would also ask for one more ultrasound, maybe next week if it still hasn't happened, just to be sure. And then I guess the medication. :( Ugh this is the worst. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're in limbo. It's highly frustrating and very unfair.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't know what to tell you at this point. I opted for the D&C because I once they had confirmed I had a blighted ovum I wanted to be done instead of waiting. But that's me and I completely respect your decision not to go that route. The thing is, though, the only way the doctors know how to speed this process along is either through misoprostal or a D&C. So if you call them, be prepared for them to suggest going this direction.
I'm very sorry that you're going through this and for your loss. I hope that you are able to find some peace during this time.
I wouldn't have lasted as long as you! You are a very strong woman! When I was in your situation - with a blighted ovum - I took the drugs. It honestly wasn't all that bad and it is over and done with pretty quickly. For me, this was so much easier than going for surgery and risking complications. It is like a heavy period. You likely wont pass much tissue.
ReplyDeleteI would call your dr to demand another ultrasound and then start the process of the miscarriage. For me - waiting was the hardest part. I couldn't last as long as you are. I'm so sorry you are going through all this. My dr told me it could take up to 6 weeks for a miscarriage to begin. I couldn't wait around not knowing what to expect for that period of time.
Hoping you come to a decision soon and you can find peace with everything.
Which doctor are you dealing with? (RE/OB/Primary?) If you aren't getting the support you need from one, don't be afraid to go to another doctor. It is perfectly reasonable to request another ultrasound even if it's just for your emotional well being. My primary doctor has referred me to a local lab for ultrasounds in the past (as opposed to by RE/OB who do their own ultrasounds).
ReplyDeleteAlso, it is my understanding that almost all doctors will do a final ultrasound right before a D&C if the patient requests it, so please don't be afraid to ask.
Your emotional health matters. Please take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for what you need, even if you're not positive what that is.
I have no advice, but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteThat is totally frustrating. Definitely get another US to make sure and then like others have said maybe they can give you some medication to start it. You have been so strong waiting. I hope things are figured out soon. Hugz!
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