Doctor's update and more...

I got in to see my doctor today.  There's kind of a story as to how things played out... but I'll try to keep it brief here.  He left a message on my home phone yesterday asking me to all this morning.  I was at work and called the clinic thinking they had forgot about me.  I spoke to the receptionist and she booked me in, and also mentioned that my doctor was going to be in the OR all weekend so it would work out great if I wanted a D&C.

Well, this morning I'm woken up to the clinic calling and the receptionist asked me if I could come in earlier, and also asked me not to eat or drink anything in case I wanted to go for surgery TODAY!  I said okay and hung up the phone.  What then resulted was a big fight between DH and I...  It wasn't so much that we were fighting with each other, but we were both so stressed out about everything and didn't know how to handle it.  DH was very opposed to me going for surgery, especially not without an ultrasound.  Eventually I called the clinic back with the intention of cancelling my appointment, and the receptionist convinced me to come in just to discuss things with the doctor.  She even said that there is no way they would try to coerce me into doing anything I didn't want to (which is what DH thought was happening).  Phew!  Still, that was not how I expected the morning to go.

So I went to the appointment.  It was very helpful.  Last time we hadn't even considered the other options so I heard the pros and cons of having a D&C or using misoprostol.  My doctor was so understanding!  He said that if my body was still producing the placenta, it could take 12-14 weeks before I do miscarry.  At the end of the visit, he even told me that if I would like peace of mind before choosing an option, he would gladly give me another ultrasound.  So I took it!  It's not scheduled till next week (since I'm away at a conference till Wednesday, fingers crossed).  But that will give us the confirmation to go ahead and get things over with if nothing has progressed.  And if I miscarry in the meantime, then that's fine too.  I told the doctor that the 12 week mark would be our cut-off and if we haven't miscarried by then, we would take action to.  I still would like a natural miscarriage the most.

And then!

I am still reeling from what else happened today.  As I left for the doctor, I noticed that someone had left a plant on our doorstep.  Attached to it was a little note card that was not signed.  However, it was handmade.  Part of it was a decorative paper that said "Blessing" on it, and the other side was paper that had the word "Baby."  On it was written two Bible verses.  The first was Psalms 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."  The other side, however (ggrrrrr!) had Psalms 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." 

WTF?!?!?!?

WHO DOES THAT?  Nobody knows that we were pregnant, apart from the people who know where we are at now.  The writing definitely looks girly, and not like an older person's writing, but somebody young.  Our guess is that someone thinks we are pregnant!  But who?!????  We have no idea!  It's kind of a gutsy and bold move to leave something like this for someone who you DON'T KNOW IS PREGNANT... and the fact that they are WRONG about it just makes us SOOOO ANGRY!   DH and I are both reeling in anger and don't know what to do with it.  Anyways, I hoped expressing it here would help me feel better, and I know that you will sympathize with me, which is what I need right now, haha. 

So I'm trying to keep it low key for the rest of the day.  I started a sewing project (my first quilt!) which I am excited to work on so that is the plan.  Tonight we'll stay in and watch a movie.  I just feel done today.  I could barely take the dog for a walk.  I'm emotional, and tired, and just need some space.  Whew!